Tuesday, September 27, 2011

I have been blessed

Have I told you before how blessed my life truly is?  Have I mentioned how great my marriage is these days?  Have I talked about the most amazing little girl ever created by God? 

I feel so blessed. 

My student teaching is going along flawlessly and while still extremely challenging, I am learning so much and my efforts are not going unnoticed.  Which means the most, really.  I have been complimented by some of the toughest critics and I am humbled by their comments.  My fingers are crossed that this permanent sub position for my cooperating teacher opens up to me in January.

Because it is such a long maternity leave for her, it has to be opened to all interested applicants.  Then they will be doing peer interviews and finally selecting a sub for her classroom from January 3 through the end of the year.  Having been with the students since the first day of the school year, I obviously feel that I am the best candidate!  :)  But time will tell....  and I hope and pray that they pick me!

Today I got to work and opened my net book to get my Smart Board set up for the morning message and lunch counts and surprise!  Only ten minutes remain on the battery.  Really!?  It charged all night!

I was in a panic. 

It was raining (thank God!), so I knew that R would be rained out at work.  So I texted him and begged him to please bring me my charger.  Almost my whole day was on the Smart Board and I would be lost without my net book.  I was freaking out.

He was still working (on office stuff?) but left anyway to go home, get my charger and drive it all the way to my school.  Knight in shining armour.  For sure.

Heather, Bethany, Me and Gina
I am blessed to have some of the best friends a girl could ever dream of.  These girls have been my rock when so many things seemed wrong.  They love my daughter like a niece.  They love me like a sister.  We are so close, even though we live so far apart.  I got to sneak away for a quick trip last weekend and was able to visit with them over appetizers and drinks.  I needed that.  They refilled my soul when it was running low.  I love them.  So, so very much.

And that little girl?  The one that blows me away with her beauty.  The one that amazes me with her intelligence.  The one that has me singing Twinkle Twinkle into the phone on my way home from work every day.  The one that makes me dance and twirl like I am a child again.  The one that melts my heart over and over and over again. 

You know the one...
She's my angel.  Everything that is right in our world.  And if there is one lesson that I can teach her in this life, it is to put herself first when it comes to her education.  I hope that she gets her education when she's young so that she never has to miss these precious times with her babies, just as I feel I am now.

I work a lot of hours with student teaching, and thank God I have a great husband that has done nothing but pick up the slack and not once complain.  He drops her off at day care, picks her up, cooks dinner, grocery shops, cleans, baths her....anything and everything I need.  I couldn't be doing this without him.

Truly, blessed.

Thursday is KG's first day at the new "scoo" and I am thrilled beyond belief.  I can't wait to see how much she learns and how many friends she makes.  She makes me so proud.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Celebrate, celebrate, dance to the music!

Oh lordy, lordy!  I never thought Friday would come this week!  It was a week.  Ugh.

I guess that I don't even know where to begin.  It's hard playing weekend catch-up on the blog.  And I am not even sure why I started blogging at this particular moment....R is out getting us dinner at a local place and I'm sitting here with Kage while she munches on chicken nuggets and fries.  I know, I know.  Sooo healthy.  Don't worry.  She has corn on her plate too.  And ketchup.  And she's dipping the corn in the ketchup.  She's adventurous, what can I say?

Can I brag on myself a little bit?  Of course I can!  I blog.  I can say whatever I want here!  So let me just say that I totally rocked out the teaching this this week.  And after the week I had, I needed that confirmation from my supervisor today.  Monday and Tuesday of this week, I was ready to drop out and just say forget it.  Today?  I am a teaching rock star.  And my supervisor....agrees.  She told me that I am the top student teacher in her group.  She was singing my praises and I was given "Proficient" on the majority of the rubric for my 5 week assessment.  She claims that only student teachers at the end of the semester earn "Proficient."  I take that as a huge pat on the back. 

I am feeling so proud of myself. 

Makes me wish that I could celebrate tonight.  But, I can't.  Toddler, remember?

We walked to Kinley's new day care yesterday to drop off the paperwork.  And yes, I said that we walked there.  It's that close.  Like two minutes from our door to theirs.  No joke.

She did not want to leave!  That makes me feel so much better about my decision.  Her current sitter is trying everything in her power to keep her....but yet the one thing that I want her to do, she doesn't.  She gives me no info about her day.  At all.  And I hate that.
We had to miss our cupcake Friday this week due to my (uber successful) evaluation going over so long...but Kinley was just as happy with the baggie of grapes that I saved her from my lunch.  I always save something for her from my lunch.  It makes her day.

And to celebrate my other big feat this week....I met my own personal goal.  I used the Smart Board for my lessons this week.  And can finally say that I'm confident and comfortable using it.  Supposedly, it will set me apart from other applicants when it comes to interviewing.  So let's hope that rings true!

This momma needs a j-o-b!

I guess that about wraps up my update (and my free time )....so I look forward to catching up with everyone this weekend!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

So What Wednesday


Link up with Shannon at Life After I "Dew" and join me in saying So What...
  • I have succumbed to laziness and decided to have my work pants dry cleaned each week.  Ironing takes too much time--which I already don't have enough of.
  • I was totally bummed when I found out that our neighbors were moving to New Mexico.  They were our "in a pinch" sitters for Kage.  Boo.
  • We're so wishing we could ditch our marriage counseling appointment tomorrow and watch Survivor instead.
  • I have enjoyed a lovely Bud Light Lime every night for the past several days.
  • I'm totally jealous of the blogs that have a zillion followers.  How do you do it?
  • I have doubted my decision to be a teacher a few times this week already.  It's a tough week.
  • I am consumed with ideas for Kinley's birthday gifts, but zero desire to plan a party.
  • Now that Kinley is weaned off of the pacifier (or it seems that way), I am terrified that our next order on the agenda is potty training.  Ugh.
  • I rocked out to Debbie Gibson today.  Don't worry, I was alone.
  •  I did a rap with my students today about the heart.  This girl...can't rap.
  • My new shoes gave me a blister on my "ring toe."  And yes.  I call it my ring toe.  Dumb.  I know.
  • Even though neither of us admit it, I guess we tried getting pregnant this month.  And I'm reminded of how much I loathe the two week wait.  Almost over.
  • I love the way that Kinley screams "Mom" and it's even cuter when we're in the grocery store and I'm out of her sight.  She look for me and calls out "mom!  mom!"  in that sweet voice!

Monday, September 19, 2011

She's all I talk about...

Okay, I get it.  I know that she is all that I talk/blog about.  But, if I'm not teaching or lesson planning, I'm with my girl. 
And there is no other place that I'd rather be.  And that's no lie.

We have been working on her fall wardrobe the last week or so.  I have stocked up on every color of yoga pants for her.  And they are fold down waistbands....oh! So cute!  We cleared out The Children's Place....she got jeans and several long sleeved tees.  I bought her lots of comfy, day care friendly stuff.  Tonight, we got her another couple pairs of shoes.  Mom cleared out Carter's big sale a few weeks ago when they had everything 50% off....I think she's set.  Or close to it. 

When we got home with our haul, we packed up a garbage bag full of summer clothes that we may or may not see again next year.  If she continues to grow as slowly as she has, we'll most likely get another season out of them.

It blows me away that my baby girl is almost into size 18 months.  I look at the newborn sizes and remember buying them just the other day...or so it seems. 

Sporting her fall jacket...and she found the pockets!
And not all fall shopping is about the clothes.  She had to get a new baby too.  I've been wanting to get her one of the Corolle Mon Premier dolls for some time and found that the Pampers Rewards had one in the rewards catalog!  Cha-ching!  Cashed those puppies in and a few days later, Kinley had her new vanilla scented baby.  And she loves her.  But she still remains nameless. 

Tell me what your thoughts would be....

This morning I received this picture from Kage's babysitter.  Along with it came this message:
She must have been tired from the weekend.  This is how tired she is every morning.

To which I replied:

Oh my gosh!  Poor baby girl.  She was up late last night with grandma and grandpa swimming at their hotel.
And then she said:

She fell fast asleep today but she does this almost everyday.  She loves to climb on the couch to snuggle with my fluffy blanket and watch TV.

Let me dissect:
My child refuses to chill on the couch.  Like, ever. 
Why is she not being stimulated with puzzles or books or another child to play with or coloring or human contact?
Where is the fluffy blanket that she loves to snuggle?
Why does it look like she was sat there and left to pass out?
Why is she in front of the TV when you "advertised" educational setting?
If she does this everyday, don't you think that maybe you should be changing the routine or something to stimulate her?

I could go on and on.  But this picture, the one that was burned into my brain all day long, the one that breaks my heart to see....

Is reason enough to be pulling her out and putting her where she deserves to be.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

A day care update...

We made the big move.  Well, we're ready to make the big move.  I gave our current babysitter her notice and paid our deposit at the new school.
Now I just have to do the mountain of paperwork for the new place and her first day will be September 29.  I asked my husband to take the day off on the 29th to allow her a half day of transition.  Then on Friday, I will leave right after the bell rings to get her as early as possible. 

Monday, October 3 will be her first real full day.

Her current sitter really made me feel guilty about pulling her out.  She had tears in her eyes and sent me a big, long text about how upset her kids were..etc, etc.  I felt so bad!  It made me really question my decision.

And then on Friday (the day I gave her notice), I got no info on Kinley the whole day.  So, no clue when she napped, no clue when/what she ate, no clue on her diaper changes.

That sealed the deal.

I'm tired of being in the dark when it comes to my own daughter. 

If the lack of communication continues, I will pull her sooner.  But I wanted to at least give her a week notice.  That's the nice thing to do, right?

I'm really getting excited about the new place.  I think that Kage is going to really blossom having this curriculum and structure every day.  AND, I found out that picture day is during her first week.  So she'll be in the class picture and get fall pictures taken.  It's the little things. 

Life is all about the little things.

I sometimes worry that she'll never have pictures of
her and I experiencing life.  I'm always behind the
I promise, I do things with her too.  No one takes pictures
of it though.

Sandboxes aren't her thing.  She finally decided to walk in the one at
the zoo but she won't touch the sand or take her shoes off.  She hates
getting dirty.  And this day, I obviously didn't plan for a stop at the
sandbox--note the white tights and dress shoes.  Oh well.

Daddy, Kinley and Grandpa

Saturday, September 17, 2011

She grew up...

How did it happen?  Or better question may be, when did it happen? 

On Friday, I was driving home from work and spending my hour commute zoned out in lala land...letting my car go on auto pilot.  I was lost in my memories from December 11, 2009.  The day when I became a mom.  The day that I learned what real worry and real love really meant.  It was the day that will forever be ingrained in my mind as the day I grew up.  The best day of my life...even though the most scary day of my life.

I remember my doctor saying that she'll break my water at noon, and at 11:45 my husband ran down to the hospital cafeteria to grab some food, knowing it would be the last time he would be able to eat for a long while.  He barely made it back up before my water was broken.

I then spent an hour in the whirlpool tub, feeling real contractions and thinking I was going to die.

Another hour went by and I finally got my epidural.

My mom finally made it to the hospital and we all hung out just waiting for the time to push.

Took me only 43 minutes to push her out.

And then she was rushed away to the NICU after laying eyes on her for a few short seconds.  I remember those seconds as a whirlwind of panic, fear, excitement, sadness....I think that was really the only moment in my life where I could honestly say I felt every human emotion rolled into one.

It wasn't until several hours later that I would lay eyes on my sweet baby girl.  The one who had been kicking me and rolling inside me all of those months before.  That sweet girl that I had yearned for, for so long. 
My daughter.
The days following her birth, I honestly have a hard time remembering.  We roomed in at the hospital for the duration of her NICU stay.  I spent my days at her side and pumping my boobs for her nourishment.  It was the closest I could get to her...and the least that I could do.

This time seems like it was just yesterday.

But it was really almost two years ago.  Two years.  Has it really been that long?  Is she really that big?  How did it go so fast?  I feel like I blinked and my baby grew up.  Did I miss it?  Did I enjoy it as much as I should  have?  Did I cherish every moment?

We have been working so hard on the pacifier weaning...  it's sort of been our mission.  We got it down to bed time only in the last couple of weeks.  We were proud of that.

And then this weekend, I realized something. 

She is "big" now.  She gets things that I don't give her credit for.  She comprehends.  She understands.

I can talk to her.  I can explain to her.  I can tell her what is happening.

And so I did.

At bedtime tonight, we did our story time and read four or five books and then she gave grandma and grandpa kisses and love (they are in town this weekend).  She ran in to the kitchen to her paci bowl and I picked her up and showed her that it was empty, aside from a lonely M&M (which we put there earlier).  I told her that the paci had to go bye-bye to another baby.  I explained that she is a big girl now and doesn't need it anymore.  I explained that only baby's need the paci and paci went to live with another baby.  And then I told her that paci left her a treat instead. 

She pondered for a second.

Snatched up the mini M&M (I don't give her the regular sized ones just yet) and put it in her mouth.  I sat her down and she ran to her room.

We said prayers.  She gave us kisses.  She went to sleep.

She grew up.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Oh Em Gee

I just popped the top off of my bottle of Bud Light Lime.  And in doing so, I just thought I would write a post to say why I so deserve this icey cold beverage.  Yuuuummmmmm....

  • The custodian at school asked me "what is up with your students?!"  because they are that class during lunch...and in the hallways.  Ugh.  The death of me.
  • I went shopping at the biggest and most awesome mall tonight with money to buy clothes AND shoes, and couldn't find a single thing. Even though I need both desperately.  Okay, want both desperately.
  • My child is in one of those moods.  Where everything makes her mad and everything makes her scream.  I think it's called teething?  Or that's what I'm blaming it on...
  • We picked up my ring from Zales and it's beautiful!  The new stone is actually a bit larger than the one they stole.  So, cheers to that!
  • After our mall experience, we came home to find the the box of Minute Rice that Kinley was carrying around earlier (don't ask) was torn to shreds by the dog.  There was rice e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e.  And I mean e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e.
  • Lucy also decided to eat a part to my breast pump.  Yes, Kinley had that out earlier as well....and again, don't ask.  She (Kinley) found it in the bottom drawer of her dresser, where I keep misc baby related stuff.  So now that's junk.
  • I was supposed to finish writing my lesson plans for next week and I've got one more day to plan.  And no more hours in my night.  Guess it'll wait for morning.
  • I bought a dress at Target (impulse buy) and it looks maternity on me.  Ugh.  Why are the styles these days so maternity-ish?!  I am at my pre-pregnancy weight but my belly still looks a good 3 months along.  WTH?
  • I have to drop the bomb on our childcare provider tomorrow that Kage's last day will be on the 28th. 
  • It's now almost 11:00 p.m. and my 5 a.m. wake up call is going to be here way too soon.
  • TGIF!
Wanna join in and tell me why you deserve this beer?

We need an intervention

Oh boy, I am weak!

I am so weak!

Our pediatrician told us that we need to drop the paci habit by her second birthday.  Her two year well check is December 6th.  I am feeling the pressure!

I said a while ago that it would be gone by the end of August...and here we are facing the end of September.  And she's still using a pacifier.

In our defense, she doesn't use it at all during the day.  Even naps are sans paci.  It's just bed time.  Which really, is pretty okay.  Right?

So I tried doing the Bye, Bye Binky method of poking holes in her paci.  That did nothing.  The crazy thing won't even collapse!  My husband thinks that it's because she still uses a newborn sized pacifier.  I don't know...but we tested it out after we poked about ten holes in it and nothing happened. 

So we took the scissors to it and snipped the tip.

That did it!  She was devastated. 

In all honesty, if we weren't so freakin' soft and over the moon with this girl...we may have won.  But about 45 minutes into it, I caved.  I ran in with a "good" paci and she went right to sleep.  Ugh.

My husband decided that if she wants to graduate college with her paci that it's alright with him. 

In the petting zoo with the goats

The cows were still her favorite...even in a zoo full of other animals.
In the family center, she made a post card to display at the zoo.

Chilling out with Barney after school.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

So What Wednesday


Oh, it's been so long since I've been able to participate in a SWW!  I am so glad to "be back!"
Check out Shannon @ LAID to join in the fun!
So what if...
I *should* be writing lesson plans for next week, but instead am having a beer and watching Survivor with my hubs.
I really thought I wanted a net book but now that I have one, I don't love it.  Not as much as I thought I would.
My husband has a running countdown of how many days are left of student teaching:  61 instructional days left to go!
I failed at paci weaning this week.  So what.
I secretly love my hour commute to school.  Gives me the perfect transition from life to work and work to life.
I love the sound of high heels clicking in the hallways at school.  Is that weird?
I got excited about finding a great picture book about Homographs today. 
It's only 8:30 and I'm passing out on the couch.  These 5 a.m. wake-up calls are killin' me, Smalls!

Monday, September 12, 2011

No good deed goes unnoticed

Last night we went to do our weekly grocery shopping.  Usually, I stay home to do school work and R and Kage go together.  But I feel rather good about being caught up and decided to join them.  Our day was going so well that I didn't want to be without them.

We always have so much fun grocery shopping too...I know, we're nerds.

It was a gorgeous evening: warm- but not hot, big, full moon was out and lighting the world so beautifully.

He was loading our groceries into the back of the SUV and I was close by dancing with Kage in my arms.  Well, not dancing, but bouncing her around in my arms.  She was laughing so loud and it was precious.  Let's face it, parents will look like straight up fools to make their child laugh.  Right?  I was that fool.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a guy (probably in his early 20s) approaching me.  He was holding a gas can and raised it up as he asked me if I could spare a couple of bucks for gas.  I told him that I didn't have any cash but that my husband could probably help him out.  R was returning the cart to the corral when I told him that this guy needed some help. 

He gave the story that his car was out of gas down the road and he just needed a few bucks to get some gas to get him home to a town about 15 miles away.  R handed him six bucks and we wished him well.  He was so thankful.

I had the biggest smile on my face.  It fills my soul to help someone out.  And then, I was saying that we did our 9/11 good deed. 

We had to get gas for my car for the week, so we headed straight over to the gas station that our little friend walked to.  I couldn't help but look to see that he was getting gas for his gas can.  He walked straight into the bathroom in the gas station.

Hmmmm, well, his car did run out of gas.  He probably did have to go.  (yes, I really did dissect this that much)

He walked out of the bathroom and I see him walking toward my husband (who is outside pumping gas).  They speak, he walks away, my husband gets into the car.

"What was that about?"

"He asked me for money for gas."


My husband then used a colorful word as an adjective to describe the guy.

He must have forgotten to take a mental picture of the man that gave him money just five minutes before, because he walked up to my husband again with the same story asking for money.  Dumb guy.

The guy ran back into the gas station and we watched him buy a pack of cigarettes.  With our six bucks.


In his defense, he did go to the pump to fill his gas can after he bought himself some smokes.


My husband says that he'll never help anyone again.

I call his bluff.

You win some, you lose some.  But helping someone out never goes unnoticed in His eyes.

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