Sunday, October 20, 2013

Here We Go...

It's opening weekend for duck season.  Which translates to it being a Kinley/Mommy weekend.  I keep thinking that the days will get easier the older she gets, but truth be told, it just stays difficult in a different way. 

It's report card time.  I have so much work to catch up on, and a three year old is not sensitive to those needs at all.  I was a totally bad mom and had the TV babysit her most of Saturday.  Judge me.  Don't care much.

Today, her cheer practice was cancelled so I decided to take her to my mom's group Halloween party.  I paid out the nose for her costume, I might as well get as much use out of it as I can!  Overall, it went pretty well.  She only bullied once!  From that party, we went to the local high school for their National Honor Society's read in.  The students dressed in costume and read to the students.  They had pumpkin painting, face painting (her absolute favorite) and games.  It was really a cute set up.  But, we left a hot mess.  She was being mean and not listening....running through the halls with me chasing behind her.  Ugh!  Such glamorous times as a mommy!

I know I've been MIA from this blogging thing, so many things that I hit on in posts will be in bits and pieces.  We are obviously having issues with behavior with Ms. Kage.  She's a bit of a bully.  I blame us, 100%.  We've given in to her every desire and basically worshipped the ground she walks on for almost four years.  We are paying dearly for that now.

I say that she has only child syndrome, but it's not an excuse.  She's a mean girl.  I fear how she will turn out once hormones hit.  We're working diligently to fix our mistakes.  It's so not easy.  Her expectations are ridiculous.  Way to go, us.  I am hoping to find a nice balance of showing her our love but making her a loving child at the same time.  I know it's possible...but it's a lot of work to fix a mess that's been in the making for so long.

Don't get me wrong here.  She's not a naughty bully all of the time.  It peaks right around nap time.  And when she doesn't get that nap.  But we have days where it can go all day.  Ugh.  Those days.

So yeah, that's been a steady battle for us lately. 

Work is hard.  H.A.R.D.    Teaching is great.  The paperwork and data collection, not great.  I will admit, teaching is not what I thought it would be.  Or how I watched my elementary teachers do it.  I feel like I am there teaching for 7 hours and then I have to use about 5 hours beyond that to collect data and organize it.  Add that to my wife and mommy role and you get one exhausted lady.  Here we are finishing the first quarter and I feel like it should be May.  I question how I will survive!  I am so thankful for my teaching team.  They are my lifelines, for sure.

And did I mention that we have a new house?  We bought it and moved in right after the fourth of July.  It's so fantastic.  We love, love, love it.  I can finally say that everything is painted.  That was insane.  Why I didn't hire it out is beyond me.  Most rooms have super high ceilings and that makes it so not fun to paint.  We didn't do the that will be hired out.  For sure.  We put a deadline on ourselves with this home improvement stuff.  Kinley's birthday party is December 7th, so we want to be done by then.  Or with the first round of improvements:  paint, furniture, major decor.  So yeah, painting is done.  Dining room is mostly done.  I have a lot of windows in need of covering, but what to do with them completely eludes me.  And I'm okay with that right now.  My plate overflows with everything else in life.  There is no room for windows.

For the first time in about...oh, seven years, I feel settled.  When my life crashed with my divorce, I was left feeling changed.  I felt like I couldn't grow roots or feel settled anywhere.  It was a feeling that I could not get past.  It left me searching for something, but I couldn't figure out what it was.  I still don't know what it was, but that feeling is gone.  The emptiness, the loss, the's gone.  I think that it was having a home.  A real home.  That's what I needed to feel complete again.  So this home has fulfilled so many voids and answered so many prayers.  Kinley loves her home and we love coming home here.  It was a good thing for us.

We are in a good place right now.  Things are moving in the right direction at the right pace.  I have hope for us again. 

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