The most touching thing....

It takes a lot to make me cry at the drop of a hat.  I mean, I am soft and cry a lot but to go from zero to sob?  Not happening all too often.

I admit that I'm behind on the whole 'net scene since starting the student teaching thing.  And maybe this has already made it's circulation a week ago and I'm just now seeing it....regardless, it's good and it's true love and it's absolutely heart wrenching.

The loyal dog that lies next to the deceased Navy Seal's casket.  I am a dog lover, and know the unconditional love that a dog has for his owners.  And if this doesn't prove it, nothing will.  The photographer that did our wedding pictures sent me a FB invite to join a "Man's Best Friend" photo contest and in his invite, he mentioned the loyal dog next the casket picture.  Well, me being the Internet stranger these days had no clue what he was talking about.  So, I googled it.  Came across the above referenced page and sobbed.  Couldn't even make it through the short article. 

My husband was sitting behind me and asked what was wrong and I couldn't even speak.  I got up and pointed to my laptop. 

God Bless that soldier and his faithful companion.

P.S.  I couldn't post the pictures from the article as they are much to painful for me to look at again. 

We had a scare...

Since the removal of the Mirena a month ago, we've been "playing with fire."  And although we know the danger risks with that fire, we played anyway. 

It's all fun and games until someones boobs start to ache!

And then once you feel that heaviness in the boobage, your mind freaks out.  OMG.  I think I am having implantation cramping.  OMG.  I am more emotional than usual.  OMG.  I feel pregnant.

Yeah, I was SURE that we had played and got burned.  And we were so sure that we were ready for baby #2.  We were so OK with having another baby.  Until the scare came.

All of a sudden, we were in a panic.  We were freaking out.  We laid in bed and thought of all of the, "well now we can't do......" or "well, now this is ruined....."  or "this is the *worst* timing ever!"  We went through all of that.

And then, I tested.

Hallelujah!  Praise God!  Thank you, Jesus!  I was saying it all.  Kinley was just stared at me wondering why I was dancing in the bathroom.

And then...  the let down.

Oh.  Okay.  So there isn't a tiny baby seed in there.  So I'm not the fertile mertile that I assumed I had become.  So we aren't giving her a sibling.  So our lives aren't changing.  So we aren't a family of four. 

It's so strange the way things happen.  Something that we were convinced we had, seemed so wrong.  But when we found that we didn't have it, seemed so wrong.  That doesn't make sense....  But it's just funny how certain we were that it wasn't good timing and we didn't want this right now...yet I felt a twinge of a let down when I got that blaring "Not Pregnant" in my face. 

I'm okay about it now.  I realize that had it been different, I would be having a baby right about the time that I'm looking for a job.  I honestly don't know when good timing would be....I know that there really is no "perfect" time for a baby.  And there's never enough money in the account.  And life never slows the the acceptable pace to expand the family.  You just adapt.

We would have adapted if that test came out differently.  And we'll go about life as normal until God blesses us with another perfect angel....but I'm happy that he's not trusting us today.

Our Special Friday

We survived our first week of student teaching!  I say we, cause it was truly a team effort.  My husband was super helpful around the house and with Kinley and Kinley did her best to not make mommy feel too guilty.

I am still struggling with the whole "working mom" thing.  On Thursday night we had a meeting of the minds...or the walls came down...or whatever.  R had to go out to buy new brakes for his truck (he does them himself) so K and I stayed home to do her bath and story time.  During her bath she started getting so angry.  She was mad when I tried washing her hair, she got mad when I tried washing her body, she was just mad.  She started throwing toys at me.  Smacking the tub.  Splashing water at me.  She was shouting. 
It was anger.
I rushed the hair and washing to get her out and took her to her room.  I toweled her off and she jumped up and started hitting the closet door, throwing her diaper at me and just shouting.
I just started crying.  Not because she hurt my feelings or because I was confused....but because I knew exactly what was going on.  She is mad at me.  She's mad about the change in our schedule.  She's mad that mommy isn't home with her every day.  She's mad that she doesn't understand and can't communicate how she feels.
She fell into my arms and put her head on my shoulder and cried.  We cried.  I sobbed.  She laid in my arms for about ten minutes and we just held each other and cried.

We needed that moment. 

I kept telling her that I was sorry.  I told her that mommy had to go to school to make our lives better.  I just kept repeating that I was sorry and that I loved her.

And then she got up, said "all done" and wanted to get her jammers on.  It was as if we both just came to the understanding that it sucks but what can we do?!  We needed that moment together.  It will probably be one of our many moments as mommy and daughter.

Friday was a little better.  She was still upset at drop off but it was a little improved.  She calmed down faster. 

Friday afternoon, I walked my class out at dismissal and as soon as 3:30 struck on that clock, I was out of there.  I had to get my girl! 
I want to make Friday a special day for us.  To celebrate that we made it!  And to celebrate the start of two whole days of Mommy and Kinley time.  I wanted to plan something special for her to look forward to and decided that a trip to the cupcake shop was perfect.  She loves going there to pick out a cupcake (and always chooses the strawberry shortcake one).  Luckily they are open until 5:00, so we were able to get there right before they closed.  We walked in and excitedly she pointed to the strawberry shortcake cupcake.  She started dancing and laughing and clapping.  The girl loves her cupcakes!

The only hard part was the patience to wait until we got home to eat it.  We're working on the whole patience thing....so the ride home wasn't so pleasant.  But once she got home, she savored that sweet reward!

I look forward to our Friday tradition and I hope that she does too. 

And don't forget to enter the give-away, I will choose a winner tomorrow night!

Saturday Morning Scene

Saying a prayer for Katie at Loves of Life and everyone else in the path of Hurricane Irene!  Hope all of the east coasters stay safe!  Thoughts and prayers are with you and your families!

My scene this Saturday morning:

Dinosaur Train with my baby girl (and some Trix).

Don't forget to enter the give-away!  Ends Tuesday!

Wanna Win Free Stuff?

How do I celebrate the first week back to school?  With a give-away, of course!

I was contacted by Uprinting.com about a post card give-away and jumped on board.  At first, I wasn't sure what I would use the postcards for....and I don't do give-aways unless it's something that I would personally use.  So I went over to uprinting.com and started playing around.  I would totally use these for Kinley's second birthday invite...or maybe the thank you cards from her party.  Or both?  You could use them for Halloween greetings....even Christmas greetings!  Options are endless.... and I got a little excited about it. 

I created this on their site in about 15 minutes.

So yeah, I approve.  Wanna win some free postcards?  Here are the details:

Prize Details:
100 Postcards for One (1) Winner
5" x 7"
14pt Cardstock Gloss
No Folding
Front Only Printing
2 Business Days Print Turnaround Time

How do you win?  Easy.
Mandatory Entry:  Leave me a comment telling me what you would use the postcards to announce.
Bonus Entry #1:  "Follow" Living On Trees on GFC and leave a comment saying you did so.
Bonus Entry #2:  "Like" Living On Trees on Facebook and leave a comment saying you did so.
Bonus Entry #3:  Blog about this giveaway including a link to this post and leave me a comment with a link to your blog post.

Be sure that your email address is included on your entry so that I can contact you if you win!

Contest ends on Tuesday, August 30, 2011.

Restriction: Limited to US residents 18 years old and above only.
Also, if you have already won the same print giveaway from UPrinting in the past six months, you are ineligible.  Sorry.  I don't make the rules, I just enforce them!

Disclaimer: Required as per FTC Ruling
This giveaway is sponsored by UPrinting.com, no monetary compensation was given and I will receive postcards for hosting. See information about cheap postcard printing, available postcard size and free postcard templates on UPrinting.com.

This is not easy...

So this is what it feels like to be a working mom?  I'm not a fan!

If guilt were visually measurable, I would guess that it would be the 50,000 ton elephant living in my gut.  Student teaching has changed our lives so much already and we're only three days into it.  And my husband has started a countdown--on 73 instructional days left to go!  Is that all?

I made the decision to not discuss my class or students based on the fact that so many teachers have been slammed in the news for blogging/facebooking about their class and students.  I won't be among them. 

But what I will say is that this is some tough business.

I wake up a little after 5 to shower and begin getting ready.  Kinley has been joining me.  So R and I juggle getting ready and playing with her.  She is dropped off at day care by 6:30 and if we're lucky, we pick her up by 5:00.  Drop-off is becoming increasingly harder and she has been crying.  I am so thankful that R does the drop-off because if it were me, I probably would have quit school by now. 

She misses us.  She misses being home.  We get her home, cook dinner, play in her room for 30 minutes, she bathes and then it's bed time. 

I miss her.  I miss being home with her.

Didn't take long, did it?

I guess it's so hard because I realize that our days together at home are gone.  I will (hopefully) be working after I student teach and really, all we will have is summer!

She is going to grow up so fast now...it always seems that they grow faster when you're not with them every minute of every day.

It's tough, this workin' mom thing.  I have an all new respect for those that do from when their babies are tiny things....I was fortunate enough to (mostly) be a stay at home mom for almost two years.

I won't be doom and gloom forever, after all, I am doing this for us.  For her.

And she does love her new day care.

It's just an adjustment phase for all of us.

A sneak peek....

First Day!

Today is my first official day of student teaching.  No students will be present but it's a full day of institute meetings.  Yeah!

I'm nervous, but not as nervous as I'll be tomorrow when I actually meet my students.

Off I go, wish me luck!

Do I look ready to teach?

This made my day!

Saturday Night Edition

I kind of feel like Maroon 5 a little bit with the whole harder to breathe feeling.  We're at my mom's this weekend (and I kind of feel like I'm distance blogging since I'm not even on my own laptop) and it's my last weekend before being thrown to the student teaching wolves.

We had a yard sale today and we sold about $120 in Kinley clothes.  I still have a large Rubbermaid tote left of her 0-9 month clothing.  The child had a lot of clothes.  A lot.  This is our third sale and total to date, we have made about $500 back on my investment.  I'm now at the point that I'm ready to just give the clothes to someone that needs them.  The sales are just too much to prepare and orchestrate.  But it was fun to let Kinley sit with her piggy bank and drop in all of her monies. We've made the decision that anything Kinley related that we sell, will benefit her college fund.  Makes it a little easier to part with those tiny threads.

Tonight my mom and step-dad offered to keep Kinley for us and we were so looking forward to the night out.  We had big plans to go for dinner, margaritas and then a movie.  But after staying up till 2 a.m. doing yard sale prep and our 5 a.m. wake up call from Kinley, our night out was nixed.  We ended up falling asleep and napping with Kinley for two hours.  Oh well...  We pray that tonight will be much better sleeping.  Makes me so thankful that Kinley is in her own room at home because while she thinks it's hilarious to pop up and say "hewwwwwwoooo" (hello!) at 5 a.m., we don't find it so funny.

And what is it with this weekend?  It's as if my daughter decided that she would start talking all in one day.  Or weekend, maybe.  This weekend, she has learned to say:  please (peese), Pa Pa (and Nonie is about to die because she said his name first), Night Night (ni-ni), outside (ee-side)....  It's so strange to hear her communicating with words. Music to my ears.

The thought of tomorrow makes me want to suffocate.  It's the point of no turning back.  The point of doom.  The last day.  I felt so ready to student teach, until now.  I felt so confident.  So prepared.  And now?  I am full of self doubt.  Can I do this?  Can I make it?  Will we survive these 15 weeks?  What if I'm not good at this?  What if I don't succeed?  It's so different now that I am in charge of a classroom.  It's so scary to know that it's the real deal.

I am already starting to worry about the unknown.  I'm worried about the lack of time to get things done.  I had intentions of using this Nonie & Papa time to work on homework and yet I haven't even touched my books yet.  Ugh. 

I'm stressing.

I'm so sad...

Grrrrr!  I just want to stomp my feet and cry that it isn't fair!  Why her?  Why now? 

Kinley has a fever.  I didn't even know she had a fever...  well, till about an hour ago.  We had to take a long ride this morning to pick up a train ticket for R to come to my mom's tomorrow night.  You see, the plan is for K and I to leave bright and early tomorrow morning and drive the four hours to mom's house.  R was supposed to work Saturday and was going to train it down Saturday night.  Change of plans, he's off Saturday so now he's coming Friday night.  Just in time to help with our Saturday yard sale!

But to avoid having two cars down there, he is going to ride the train and I'll pick him up there.  Then we can all come home together on Sunday.  This morning, it was terrible traffic.  The should-have-been 1 hour ride was about 2 hours.  And then while I was there, I stopped at the Chevy dealership to get that part to fix my ghetto door.

Thirteen dollars later, all fixed and we're on our way.  I had to stop at one of my favorite hot dog joints before leaving town...and let me tell ya, it's not easy to eat a Chicago style while driving.  But don't worry, I managed.  K slept pretty much the whole way there, during errands and back.  I just figured she was tired since she woke up at the crack of dawn 6:00 a.m. 

We finally got back to our town and I had to stop at the grocery for just a few things to make for the BBQ that we're going to tonight to visit with my cousins.  K refuses to sit in a cart anymore, so I am carrying her and pushing a cart and trying to shop.  Fun.  Let me tell ya!  But the majority of our trip, her head was on my shoulder and she felt so hot!  I thought for a minute that it must be because she was sleeping in the car seat.  But she never cooled down.  And then the five minutes that it takes to get from the store to our apartment, she was passed out again.  Ugh.  That feeling in your gut when you know that your baby is the lucky one.

I got her home and temped her immediately and sure enough, 102 and she passed out again. 

My heart breaks.

I would take it from her in a second.

So....who knows what our plans will be now.  And who knows what she's got. 

It only happens when we make plans.

Say a prayer for my girl!

We've Got A New Way....

I honestly had to search my brain for a blog today.  Sometimes, I have to weed out all of these different things that I want to say and choose the best one.... not today.  My brain woke up as mush.  R and I had to tip-toe around the apartment and barely even breathe to keep things super quiet.  You see, Kin has been becoming quite the early riser the past two weeks.  I'm talking 6:00-6:30 a.m. early riser.  Now this will work perfectly next week when I start student teaching and she has to go to day care at 6:30, but this week, is momma's last week of "summer break" and she would enjoy just a tiny bit of "me time" in the morning before jumping into her mommy work. 

So here it is 6:48 and I have my cup of coffee sitting next to me and I'm feverishly pecking at the keyboard and praying that the clickity clack won't wake her.  I'm not asking for a 10:00 wake-up (although wouldn't that be awesome!) but maybe an 8:00?  That would be cool.  Maybe I could even get a shower without the crying toddler holding the shower curtain open and soaking the bathroom floor.  Cause, yes, that is what she does when I shower.

I finally got word back from Zales about my ring.  The manager said that following a conference call with the diamond bond guy in Texas and then his regional manager, they conclude that it is "our" diamond and that we're basically SOL.  But!  If we want to fork out $325 they'll upgrade it one level on the clarity chart.  Sooo many things that I could say here.  But I took the info and told him that my husband would be contacting him.  Which he surely won't want....I promise.  Cause when I get mad, I cry.  When he gets mad, he causes a scene.

First of all, why would you even offer to upgrade our stone if you are certain that the stone in the ring is our stone?  Why is the process that you claimed would take a couple of days, taking almost two weeks.  And I still don't have my ring back.  It is stranded in Texas until we decide what we're going to do.  Who knows what will be coming back to us at this point.....the guy in Texas probably switched it out yet again.

Second, if you didn't screw up and switch the diamond in the first place, you shouldn't be offering a "super great discount" on a better stone.  You should  be confident in your decision and tell us that you're 100% certain that it is our stone.

Either way, I'm feeling ripped off.  Zales, you fail.  Big fail.  And I pray that I see "Zales" being searched in my stats.  Cause I have their new slogan:  Zales, we'll steal your diamond and make you pay for another.  Screwing you for a lifetime.  Buy our lifetime care and guarantee for your diamond to ensure that we can play the switcheroo game any time we want!

Okay, I am done complaining about them.

We had a couples session last night again.  Neither of us really wanted to go but it was too late to cancel without being charged for a no-show.  So we went.  It's kind of funny to sit in the waiting room.  You are surrounded by other couples.  And obviously we are all in the same boat.  Some sit in silence.  Some have casual conversation.  Some seem so tense and mad that you could cut the tension with a knife.  Us?  We were in the silent scene, then.  Now?  We walk in and are laughing, giddy, happy.  I think that we look like that couple.  You know, the one that you can totally pick out in a restaurant.  They walk in all lovey dovey on each other and happy and you look over at them and totally peg it as they are in the dating stage.  That's us when we walk into the office now.  I think that our counselor is sort of confused.  She's not sure what to make of the 180.  But the longer we go in this new way of our relationship, the more I believe that it's real and not just a honeymoon phase.  Are we really happy?  Are we really, truly making this work?

I think so.

In our session, we were going to pick up on the "What Makes You Feel Loved" worksheet again but after going through one question, it was brought up how a major hot spot of stress in our relationship is when I am in school and a stress freak.  Cause let's face it....I am a total freak when I get overwhelmed and stressed out.  So we used this session to talk through some things that will be overwhelming and cause friction in the relationship during this semester.  Mainly, Kinley responsibilities.

During the discussion, my stress was already starting to rise and I was getting all anxious and freaked out just thinking about how hard this is going to be.  And how risky it is to ruin how great we have made our relationship, but then I realized that he's not the same person he was last semester.  And I'm not the same girl that I was last semester.  Strangely, I have confidence that we will get through this.  We will succeed and survive this last semester of school.

She gave us lots of tips and talked us through morning procedures, pick-up procedures, dinner procedures and then my homework time procedures.  We are both on the same page and have the same expectations for how our lives will flow during the next 15 weeks.  If we stick to our plan, we shouldn't have many bumps.  Shouldn't.

Is dinner time stressful for all families?  Cause that is where we have most of our issues.  Her solution:  R takes two nights and I'll take three.  On his two nights, I don't get asked about dinner, I don't make anything, he does it all.  Whether it be grabbing Portillo's or getting pizza or making something.  It's all him.  And for my three days, it's all me.  And then, on Sunday, him and Kinley have the grocery shopping chore.  They go and get gas in the vehicles and grocery shop so that I have a couple of hours of uninterrupted homework time.  On Wednesday nights, we sit together and plan the weekly menu.  That way there should be no issues about what we're eating on what night and the whole decision making is taken out of the equation.

Sounds like it may work, and work well.  He is also taking the responsibility of dropping Kinley at day care in the morning.

Talk about a weight off of my shoulders.  Just knowing that those few things are things I don't need to worry about make such a huge difference.

I'm almost excited to start this next phase in our relationship:  surviving school.  If we can survive this, I will be certain that it's a real change and not a honeymoon phase.

And now I have realized that this blog has gone on way too long.  My apologies. 

Have some Kinley cuteness:

Her bestie, Carder.

This is the cutest thing.  I think she needs a tractor for her birthday.

A Happy Place

Monday can be a much more tolerable existence when the weekend is fulfilling.  Have you ever felt that way? 

We spent the weekend back in southern IL and while the traveling wasn't the easiest (Kinley cried pretty much the whole way there), the time spent down there was the best.  We moved back to Chicago-land because the jobs are up here.  The money is up here.  Opportunities are up here...endless opportunities.  But going "home" makes us long for that life again.  Our friends are there.  Some of our family is there.  Life seemed simpler there. 

But I think you always long for what used to be or the whole "the grass is greener" philosophy. 

We have a good life now.  We are very happy where we are.  Our future looks brighter and brighter every day.  But it doesn't make us miss southern Illinois any less.

I got some time with my dearest best friends and their babies....although they aren't really babies anymore.  When we lived in southern Illinois, I started up a mommy group to help me meet other moms and find friends for Kinley.  She was only about four months old then...so she wasn't too eager to meet other children her age--but mommy wanted friends!  I was relatively new to the area and didn't know many people, especially moms with babies that could relate to my new psycho tendencies.  That was when the SoIL Chic Mommy Group was born.  I met the most amazing women from that group.  And leaving the group and those mommies behind was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

The friends that I made from that group will be my best friends for life.  I have no doubt.  We bonded on such a special level--and even though we only see each other every few months, it's the kind of friendship where everything picks up where we left off without any need for words. 

It is hard to not see them and share every day with them...but that's why we love Facebook and texting and pictures on blogs.  I keeps us connected in these busy times.

Visiting with my girls on Saturday was probably the highlight of the whole trip. Who am I kidding--it was the highlight of the trip!  The kids were able to run and play and climb and slide.  Play dates were so much easier when they could just lay on the blanket and stare at each other!

Saturday evening, the hubby and I left Kinley with grandma and we went to visit our dear friends who just had a baby a few weeks ago.  Holding a newborn was so surreal. It has been so long and it was almost impossible to remember Kinley being that tiny. 

Later, we went to the Southern Illinois Raceway to watch the races.  It was like old times!  Back in the day before we were married and had a baby, we would go and watch the races all the time.  So it was fun to go back and just relax and pretend we were dating again.

I tell ya....life is pretty good right now.  We are both so happy in our relationship and so happy in our lives....  it's a true testament to the power of prayer!  When things were so bad--a couple of months ago--I would have never dreamed that I would find happiness in our life again.  I was ready to throw in the towel and just walk away.  I thank God that I didn't.  I thank God that my husband held on while I let go.  I thank God for answering our prayers and keeping our family together.  Cause even though times are tough and we may not have it all--we are happy and that makes everything else so much easier.  I am forever grateful, that's for sure.

While sitting outside at the cabin over the weekend, I was watching my husband from afar while he was on the phone...and I caught myself crushing on him.  Do you know cool it is to crush on your husband?  I mean, it's so easy to crush on random hot guys (like Adam Levine) but to feel the butterflies in your tummy over the man that loves you above all things....and crushes on you too....  that's pretty amazing.  And I am so happy that I have been able to return to that place in my life where it's okay to love and it's okay to feel and it's okay to trust.  Makes you just want to shout it from the rooftops.

It was a good weekend.  A fill your heart kind of weekend.  And that's good, cause a week from today I will be starting my adventures in student teaching!

Did you hear?

Man, I guess I fell off of the blogging bandwagon this week.  I have been so busy.  I know, I know....poor excuse.

First of all...

I GOT PLACED!

Yep, got the call on Wednesday that I am going to be teaching 3rd grade.  Not in the district that I had prayed for...but the one that will be an hour commute.  But you know what?  I am so okay with that.  Living in Chicago-land just means that you commute.  I am fully aware and will deal.  I'll just jam to K-Love...I love that station.  I may actually enjoy the alone time.

But the best part?  My placement lady told me that the co-operating teacher is pregnant and asked if I would be interested in subbing her room for her maternity leave after graduation!  Yea!  A job!  A job!  Making money!  Real money!

So I am going to work so super hard to impress her (not that I wouldn't anyway) to ensure that long term subbing position.

Her and I talked at length today on the phone and she sounds so adorable.  I can't wait to meet her next Wednesday.

Now that the whole "end is near" with my stay-at-home time with Kinley, I am feeling extreme pressure to do so much with her.  I don't want to regret letting these last days dwindle away.  I am trying so hard to just do things with her...going places, play dates, splash park (even though it's gotten unseasonably cool lately), the park behind our apartment....  I just want to do things with her.  I know that I'm going to miss her like crazy once I am teaching 5 days a week.  For 20 months, I have been home with her most days.  This will be a big change--for both of us.

I feel like there is so much to catch up on....  I am overwhelmed.  And that usually works best as a list...so here we go:

• Remember the date night we had planned last weekend?  With the new sitter?  Yeah, she didn't change Kinley's diaper ALL NIGHT. No joke.  She won't be called back.
• Above mentioned date night:  awesome time.  Got tipsy on my margarita and didn't even finish the silly thing.  Talk about a light weight.  But he got tipsy off of his Corona..so we were all giggles that night.  Then went to see Friends With Benefits and it was so good. 
• We are heading south to work on the trees at our rental house....correction:  R is working on the trees.  I am visiting my friends and going back to my favorite stylist to get my hair cut!  Majorly excited about that.  And I can't wait to see my friends.  Can.Not.Wait.
• Now that we are "playing with fire" without my Mirena and no birth control...we are scared to death.   Especially after the taste of the terrible 2s that we've been witnessing in our sweet baby girl.  Scary!

And now....the pictures:

Who knew that student teaching required real homework?  Harry Wong...my hero!

This day, she took about three drinks of milk.  I hid it in this cup and she had no clue.

She is terrified of Thomas the Train.  She hid when he came on.
Normally, I change the channel before the song starts but I didn't get it in time this day.

A beautiful day at the park!

This was right after I got my placement call.  The world seemed so
much brighter!

Playing at the mall soft play land.  She loves this place!

I have a picture of her in this apple at about 10 months old...I need to dig it up.

My big girl!

Riding the mall carousel.

Her first ride in the money-sucking coin operated rides.

Splash park!  We were the only ones there this day.  Very unusual.

I let her run it out!

Such a sad but adorable picture.  Serving her time-out for
climbing on the coffee table and not listening to mommy.