It's all fun and games until someones boobs start to ache!
And then once you feel that heaviness in the boobage, your mind freaks out. OMG. I think I am having implantation cramping. OMG. I am more emotional than usual. OMG. I feel pregnant.
Yeah, I was SURE that we had played and got burned. And we were so sure that we were ready for baby #2. We were so OK with having another baby. Until the scare came.
All of a sudden, we were in a panic. We were freaking out. We laid in bed and thought of all of the, "well now we can't do......" or "well, now this is ruined....." or "this is the *worst* timing ever!" We went through all of that.
And then, I tested.
And then... the let down.
Oh. Okay. So there isn't a tiny baby seed in there. So I'm not the fertile mertile that I assumed I had become. So we aren't giving her a sibling. So our lives aren't changing. So we aren't a family of four.
It's so strange the way things happen. Something that we were convinced we had, seemed so wrong. But when we found that we didn't have it, seemed so wrong. That doesn't make sense.... But it's just funny how certain we were that it wasn't good timing and we didn't want this right now...yet I felt a twinge of a let down when I got that blaring "Not Pregnant" in my face.
I'm okay about it now. I realize that had it been different, I would be having a baby right about the time that I'm looking for a job. I honestly don't know when good timing would be....I know that there really is no "perfect" time for a baby. And there's never enough money in the account. And life never slows the the acceptable pace to expand the family. You just adapt.
We would have adapted if that test came out differently. And we'll go about life as normal until God blesses us with another perfect angel....but I'm happy that he's not trusting us today.