If guilt were visually measurable, I would guess that it would be the 50,000 ton elephant living in my gut. Student teaching has changed our lives so much already and we're only three days into it. And my husband has started a countdown--on 73 instructional days left to go! Is that all?
I made the decision to not discuss my class or students based on the fact that so many teachers have been slammed in the news for blogging/facebooking about their class and students. I won't be among them.
But what I will say is that this is some tough business.
I wake up a little after 5 to shower and begin getting ready. Kinley has been joining me. So R and I juggle getting ready and playing with her. She is dropped off at day care by 6:30 and if we're lucky, we pick her up by 5:00. Drop-off is becoming increasingly harder and she has been crying. I am so thankful that R does the drop-off because if it were me, I probably would have quit school by now.
She misses us. She misses being home. We get her home, cook dinner, play in her room for 30 minutes, she bathes and then it's bed time.
I miss her. I miss being home with her.
Didn't take long, did it?
I guess it's so hard because I realize that our days together at home are gone. I will (hopefully) be working after I student teach and really, all we will have is summer!
She is going to grow up so fast now...it always seems that they grow faster when you're not with them every minute of every day.
It's tough, this workin' mom thing. I have an all new respect for those that do from when their babies are tiny things....I was fortunate enough to (mostly) be a stay at home mom for almost two years.
I won't be doom and gloom forever, after all, I am doing this for us. For her.
And she does love her new day care.
It's just an adjustment phase for all of us.
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3 comments:
I understand how you are feeling. I dont think Carder even likes me anymore. He has been going to daycare early and staying there until 5 or so at night. We get home and he eats, takes a bath, and then wants Chet and only Chet. He could care less about me. Probably has something to do with the stack of nursing books on the arm of the chair that I'm trying to read at night.
All I can say is keep your head up and we will be celebrating soon enough!!!! You will do great!!
Hang in there girl! I would say it gets easier but honestly it doesn't. There are many days that I so want to drive right past the daycare and come back home and play with Brynleigh all day. Kinley and you and Richie are adjusting right now and that part will get easier as time passes. Keep your head up girl, you are so close to graduating. And it's always a plus to have your summers off with Kinley!
You can do it!! I know it's hard, though, and I'm not even going to tell you it gets easier. The good thing is you will have EVERY summer off with Kinley, and that's more than most people get so hopefully that will keep you going. Miss you all!!
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