I'm Two...

Really?  How in the world is it already time for her to be two?  I mean, her attitude lately is totally "terrible twos" (as much as I hate that phrase).  I swear that I jinxed myself the other day by saying on FB that she was the world's greatest sleeper.  I mean, for the most part, she has always been a good sleeper (here I go again, when will I learn to shut up?!) but the past week has been rough.  She has started this whole wake-up in the middle of the night screaming "mommy" thing.  Ugh.  Daddy can't come or she flips out.  So, I go to see her and all that she wants is to sleep on top of me.  Or, for me to hold her hand through the crib rails.  So yes, that is how I have spent several evenings.

And I refuse to put her in our bed.  REFUSE.  Not even starting that.  So I end up either in the recliner, on the couch or the floor next to her crib.  Been great sleeping in our house, I tell ya!

I broke down and FB'd her pediatrician.  I know, how cool is it that I can FB her doctor AND get answers via FB.  Love that.  I am not sure if this new behavior is all part of the fun and games of being two or if we have just failed miserably at all things parenting and now we're screwed. 

Today is our five year first date-iversary.  Yes, five years ago today he picked me up after spending hours getting to know each other at a Halloween party a few days prior.  We went to Chili's and had burgers and talked until they closed. 

We thought it would be nice to go out tonight for burgers and celebrate.  Too bad we have a defiant little girl that refuses to sit in a high chair or booster in a restaurant.  She wouldn't eat.  Wouldn't sit.  Wouldn't let us eat.  It was rough.

But what did we do?  Took her to PetLand to look at all of the animals.  And then to the toy store.  And then to buy fish.

We totally rewarded her for terrible behavior. Okay, we suck at parenting.

But her fish are totally cute.  And the rocks are pink.  And it lights up pink.  And we named them Dorie and Nemo.  Yeah, so original.

Whatever. 

We finally got her daycare pictures back and they were so cute.  I actually laughed when I first saw them because they look funny but oh so cute.  I mean, she looks so old, but so little.  See what I mean?

She looks so big!

I am in full birthday planning mode now.  Her invites have been selected.  The pictures have been taken.  The location has been reserved.  Just need to figure out all of the fine details.  We are sticking with the barnyard theme, cause let's face it, the girl *loves* her farm animals.  Loves them.

I think that she's going to love her party.  Or I hope that she will.  She may be rotten, but she's our princess.  Our spoiled little princess.  And when you ask her who the prettiest girl in the whole wide world is...she points to herself.

Yep.  We're doomed.

Things are just really good...

We dropped out of our couples counseling.  Not intentionally.  We just kind of forgot about our last appointment.  I swear that I put it on my phone calendar, but then I never got the reminder.  And then one night we were sitting down for dinner and my husband asked me if we missed it.  We were both pretty certain that the appointment had passed…but they didn’t call and we didn’t either.  So… I guess we’re done with that.  For now.

I must say, our relationship is strong as ever.  Even still.  We rarely bicker, and if we do, it fizzles out as quickly as it started.  I wish that I could say exactly what happened or what changed that allowed us to fix the mess that we were in…but I have no idea. 

We’ve kind of let the idea of baby number two set on the back burner.  Not that we don’t want a sibling for our perfect angel, but we are both so overwhelmed with life that waiting isn’t hurting anything.  And we still aren’t preventing.  J  It’s just in God’s hands, as it always has been and always will be.

I am so anxious to be done with student teaching.  Despite the teaching market being over saturated in our state, I still have so much hope that I will find something after graduation.  We have so many dreams that are just waiting for me to walk across that stage.  So many dreams that we are ready to begin.  I just have to get a job.  Have to. 

While we love our apartment, we always said that we didn’t want to raise a family in one.  We want a home and a yard.  Kinley gets tired of the apartment.  You can tell that she’s bored with such little space to run and little space to play.  We have dreamed about our dream home for so long, we just want to get started. 

We always remind ourselves that we are living by Ramsey’s motto:  Live like no one else so that later you can live like no one else.  That’s our goal.    And the way that things have been going for us lately, I have no doubts that we won’t accomplish those goals because we are really working hard as a team and succeeding, small step by small step.

Soul Refilling Weekend

A Long Trip Alone by Dierks Bentley is playing on the radio and we both comment that it’s been a long time since we’ve heard it.  All that I want to do is stop for a bag of Limon potato chips.  But, Kage is in and out of sleep in the backseat and we don’t dare stop in fear that it will wake her.  We’ve been on the road for just about two hours and still have another four ahead of us.  I’m sure those Limon chips will be joining our trip before long.  

We just lost our station and that song that we both hadn’t heard in so long was lost. 

Now, it’s The House That Built Me by Miranda Lambert.  Equally as nice to hear.

This weekend, we abandoned responsibility and drove to southern IL.  My best friend called me and said that I needed to come down for a pumpkin patch trip.  She knew I needed it.  Despite the looming load of work that I have to complete for this week, I have faith in myself that I’ll find a way to get it done.  I needed this break.  We all needed this break.  So that’s just what we did.

It was a secret trip, in a way.  We didn’t tell anyone we were going.  Just loaded the car and went.  Trips like that are nice.  It’s hard to see everyone and do everything that you want to do in just a short weekend…the expectations are too high.  Secret trips are just kind of nice… we were able to stay in our pajamas on our best friend’s couch all day long.  The kids were able to play together.  We ate and talked and rested. 

They live on a farm—kind of.  And you know how much my KG Layne loves the farm.  (It is the theme of her second birthday party.)  She was able to run out their backdoor, across the back yard and into a barn full of moos.  She was in heaven.  She met and fell in love with a “moow” kitty (think the word now but with an m).  Her and her best friend ran hand in hand speaking in conversations that only they could understand.  I’m sure she told him all about her stressful times at day care this week.

We took the kids to the pumpkin patch, the same one we visited one year ago and took KG’s 9 month pictures.  It’s almost impossible to wrap my mind around the fact that she’s now almost 2.  Her and her buddy ran hand in hand through the corn maze.  It was so adorable, we just followed behind them.  Needless to say, we were corn maze drop outs.  We passed the same place twice and decided their lead was going to get us nowhere fast.   The pumpkin patch had a play zone where Kin was able to play in a bin of corn kernels and slide on a big slide!  Sliding is one of her favorite past times…for sure.  She was in heaven.

On Saturday night, the husbands took off for a night of haunted houses.  You can’t drag me into one of those things.  You know that there is always a clown hiding around the corner and this girl doesn’t play when it comes to clowns.  Or any haunted house, for that matter.  I am a chi-cken.  Big time.  It was nice to send them out and get to have a girl’s night in with the babies.  Our third partner in crime came over with her little boy and the three of us stayed in to just hang out.  We’ve been best friends since the babies were about six months old…and now we’re all planning second birthday parties.  Where does the time go?

It was an amazing weekend.  I can’t wait to share all of the pictures with you…we sure did get some good ones.

So What Wednesday

Head on over to Life After I "Dew" and link up...

Being away for so long leaves the SWW the perfect opportunity to "check in" and feel no worries about the lack of flow and lack of formatting.  Here we go....wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

So What....

• if I am so in love with the way that Kage says "no" to everything.  Remind me in a month when she's screaming it at me non-stop.
• if I am not as happy with this new day care like I had hoped to be.  The curriculum is fabulous, but Kage is not transitioning as easily as I had hoped and I am beginning to wonder if she cries all day long.
• I have an observation tomorrow and chose to do this SWW instead of planning final touches on my lesson plan.
• We are all still sick.  Icky throats are the worst!
• I am celebrating that I only have 38 days left until I am done with this unpaid work thing!
• I just now decided on KG's birthday invites.  Luckily, I still have time to plan the rest of the stuff. 
• I am struggling to wrap my mind around the fact that I have a two year old.
• I did get a few birthday gifts ordered while doing some online shopping on Etsy.
• I sometimes think that this whole marathon thing is a fad.  Doesn't it seem like it has become the "cool" thing to do?  Kind of like tight-rolling jeans....  and who does that anymore?
• I have been stopping at the grand Dunkin every morning for a medium iced coffee.  It is such the perfect travel companion.
• I am a "mean" teacher and have two losing recess tomorrow for disrespectful behavior. 
• I am pretty sure that my our daughter is the most awesome girl I have ever laid eyes on.  She is the best part of me.
• Having a paid off vehicle is really a pain sometimes....one thing falls apart and then in dominoes.  Today, we had to replace my alternator.  Seriously?!  Unpaid work, remember?!
• I may have written the most sporadic SWW ever.
 
 

I just don't get it....

Really?  I just don't get it.  Do you see what this person has hanging from the hitch of the truck?  I see it way more often than I care to...and each time it makes me uncomfortable.  I really don't want to see a scrotum hanging in front of me on the expressway.  Mmmmm, K?!
Is it a secret scrotum society or what?  Am I missing the fun in it?  If so, please explain.  I can't wait to hear the logic behind wanting your truck to "have a pair."

Oh Crap, It's Croup...

If you were a reader last winter, you may remember all of the trouble we had with Kinley having pneumonia twice and croup (more than once?).  Well, here we are again.  First week of October and she's got croup.  Grrr.  Last night was a rough one, she was coughing so bad.  Her and I were up quite a bit.  I had R take her to the Pediatrician today and sure enough.  Just as I thought.  Five days on the steroid and hopefully it clears up.  Thankfully, she's not acting sick during the day.  It's just the nights and early mornings that are rough.  But what luck that she's come down with it marathon weekend?  We can't win.
The doctor recommended that we keep her going tonight.  Let her run to her heart's content.  Running makes her breathe deeper and will help prevent pneumonia from setting in again.  So after the appointment, R took her outside to run.  When I got home from work, we went to the park to feed the quack quacks and run, then to the library to play in the children's corral and had to run a Target errand.  Okay, so not so much a real errand but a very strong desire to get her some new denim jeggings to go with these oh so cute boots that I found for her to wear this Fall.  Oh yeah, and I needed laundry detergent. 

On the way to Target, my exhaustion was setting in.  My feet were aching.  My back hurt.  I was feeling all of my 32 (I am 32, right?!) years.  I took a "back way" to the shopping area of the town where we live and meandered through a nice, established neighborhood.  You know the kind: nice houses but not overly nice.  Mature trees.  Families.  Some retirees.  Just a nice, clean, well kept neighborhood.  As I was driving through, I saw an older couple (like white hair, older) walking hand in hand.  In white shorts.  (Did they match on purpose?)  And then I passed a man vacuuming his driveway.  Yes, vacuuming.  And then I passed a family outside in the driveway just enjoying each other's company.

I can't wait to have the time to vacuum my driveway.  Okay, so I totally wouldn't do that...but I am envious of the time that he has.  Really?  He must have *nothing* else to do in life if he can fit in driveway vacuuming. 

Some Most All of my days seem to go so fast that I am waiting for the day that my head spins and plum falls off.  O-F-F.

There were days in my life where I remember having coast time...but those days seem like eons ago.  Another life time maybe.  I keep thinking that this life will slow down soon....but then again, maybe being so busy living is a good thing?

Maybe it's the fact that it's almost all work and little play...

Love, love, love this

So....The test was.....

Why It's Okay That I'm *NOT* Pregnant:

• I am exhausted already.  All day, every day.
• We are broke.  And any extra money that we do have, is spent on Kinley.  No extras for another baby right now.
• I enjoy spending every ounce of my being thinking about and loving on her.
• I really don't want to share myself with any other children right now.  I want to give all of me to her.
• I want to be in our home before we have more children.  This two bedroom apartment is way too small for the three of us....if we had another on the way, it would be insanely claustrophobic.
• I want to be selfish and put my energy into building a career for myself and don't want to "deal" with being pregnant.
• We can only afford one college fund right now.
• I would like to start my Masters program after I graduate in December.  Being pregnant would make that even more difficult.
• I don't really like maternity clothes.  (okay, that one is a stretch)

Why I Am *Slightly* Bummed That I Am *NOT* Pregnant:

• I have no excuse for my belly pooch.
• I really wanted Kinley to have a sibling closer to her age. 
• I hate the thought of infertility--again.  And no period for this long makes me think that it's rearing it's ugly head again.
• I wanted a reason for my feeling icky.  Guess it's acid reflux or something?
• I miss that feeling of a baby moving in my belly.

So the test was negative.  If you didn't get that by now.  I was bummed for about five minutes and then got over it.  Guess I didn't want it as bad as I had thought.  I realized now that I'm okay with being a family of three.  And if God blesses us with the desire to work through our infertility and start treatments again, then so be it.  But until then, I am A. OK. with where we are right now!

In other news, day care is so rough on me.  Drop-off is the WORST!  She cries hysterically.  Makes me feel like crap, really.  But "supposedly" she is fabulous the rest of the day.  Or until the other kids start getting picked up, then she cries again.  But, she's eating well there.  Drinking MILK!  Which she's never done before.  And she sleeps amazingly well there.  So all signs point to her doing okay.  And have I mentioned how much I love getting art work from her every day?!  Yeah.  Awesome-ness.  I am going to be the mom that keeps every paper that she ever brings home.  Our refrigerator is heavily decorated and it's only the first week.

We picked her up together tonight.  That was a special treat for her.  And it was picture day today...and she looked adorable in her new dress and cardigan.  I tried to find a picture online of the outfit, to no avail.  And this morning was waaaaay too hectic to snap a shot.  So you'll just have to wait until I get them back.  But her teacher said that she was the only one to smile for pictures.  Guess all of that "cheese" practice last night paid off!

After we picked her up, we went and met with a new financial advisor that will be taking over her college account.  She was awesome and made us feel so un-dumb about the details of her money.  I feel much better about things now.  And I am proud of us for getting started on that when she was born....it's our goal for her to be awarded a full scholarship to college....but just in case she doesn't, she won't graduate with the debt that I have.  That's for sure.  And if she does get that scholarship, she's going to have a fabulous nest egg to start her life on. 

And for those not on my (personal) Facebook, here is a Kinley cuteness tidbit that I shared this morning:  after we say her bedtime prayers with her, we always say, "I love you, Jesus.  Amen." and she now says, "Men."  Ahhhhhhh.  She swells my heart.

Bullets

When you've been away for as long as I have....you have no choice but to use bullets. 

• Tomorrow, my period will be ten days late.  I need to test, I guess.  But I have zero symptoms.  Zero. 
• I did go to Walgreen's to buy a test.  I stopped at a ghetto Walgreen's that had all of the tests under lock and key (must be a hot theft item) and had to push the call button for assistance.  "Customer needs assistance in the family planning."  And I wasn't even embarrassed.   And no, I didn't take the test yet.  But Kinley ran around with it all night as if it were a surprise treat.
• Student teaching is fantabulous.  But, ohmygosh is it a LOT of work.  A lot.
• I was asked to do a pilot program through the university and I accepted gladly for the recognition and all of the perks of the letters of recommendation from the higher-ups in the University....I had NO idea how much work it would be.  Totally bit off more than I can chew.
• I want to drop out of the pilot program.  There I said it.
• Kage likes her new day care.  Can't say for sure that she loves it though....  time will tell.  I'm a little on the 'eh side.  Not loving, not hating.
• It's time to start planning KG's second birthday party.  It's slow going though.
• I was standing outside pumping gas (duh, cause who does that inside!?) and this creepy dude at the pump next to me said:  "Hey!  Are you a teacher?!"  To which I replied, "Yes" and went back to my texting.  He said, "oh...cause you look like one."  I smiled, said thanks...cause what do you say to that?!  Freak.  I was wearing my badge from the school....he's a swift one, no?
• Kin will be a cow for Halloween.
• Today would have been my dad's 56th birthday.  I miss him so.
• I called my grandma today, because I do every year on dad's birthday, and we cried together because we miss him so much. 
• I realized that talking to my grandma is really exhausting because I have to scream the whole conversation into the phone and repeat each thing three times.  But it's so worth it.
• I am craving enchiladas like no body's business.  Seriously.  And I've never even had an enchilada to know what they taste like.  I just *need* one so bad!
• Werther's Original Carmel Apple candies=goodness
• This weekend is the Chicago marathon and my brother-in-law is running again.  Please let this year be better than last!  What a nightmare!
• Have I mentioned how big my baby girl is getting?

• She totally looks two.  I love her.  I am working with her on her colors and yesterday I picked up the orange crayon and she said "o-ange."  Knocked my socks off!  I had no clue that she knew colors!  Sweet.
• And is it just me, or did Fall creep up on you as well?

• And lastly, the worst and best part of my hour long commute each morning.


• I miss my blogging friends.  I think every day about how much I wish I could sit down each morning and "chat" with all of you...but life duties call and a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.  I have to bust my bucket to do what is best for our family and for that sweet little angel sleeping in the room next to me. 
• We are both working so hard to make her life a good one.  A family life that she will be proud of...and that we'll be proud of.
• I hope that my readers all understand my absence and stick with me through these last 47 days of teaching.  I'll blog when I can!  And I always read when I can.