Thursday, August 4, 2011


I was out cold until seven this morning.  That never happens.  I am always up by 6:30.  Ugh.  Throws off my schedule.

Today is my final and presentation for my last class before student teaching.  Thank God!  I made it this far....  I stayed up pretty late preparing a study guide for the final and now I feel that maybe I should have been doing more presentation prep.  Oh well...I am kind of going in with a "wing it" attitude.  Wish me luck...I may need it.  And I need this A to bring my GPA back to the 4.0 that I had before last semester....stupid B.....gave me a 3.89....Grrrr.

Last night we had a session with the marriage counselor.  I don't mention that much anymore.  We pushed our visits to every other week and that has worked so far.  We had a great session last night.  A few weeks back she had us complete these worksheets about "What makes you feel loved" and I'm tellin' is eye opening.  Cause what he thought I wanted him to do to make me feel loved, is not right at all.  And vice versa.  It is a great exercise.  So we're going through those line by line and exploring each other's thoughts and feelings on things.  I am loving all of this learning that we're doing together.  It's like getting to know each other all over again.  We did spark a hot spot on one item about working as a team in our marriage and that has always been a hot spot.  But we were able to blow up, get mad, argue BUT we had a mediator there.  She let us have our spat, our differing of opinions, and then she broke it down.  Okay, what did you hear her say?  What I heard her say was this....  and the other way around.  So it was really a good session.  I love having that communication mediator!  Wish there was an app for that!

Kinley had such a great day yesterday.  She was so good and wasn't fussy and I just really enjoyed her...  I'll admit, the last few weeks have been so tough.  But yesterday, it was a full day of blessings and I enjoyed every minute.

I am feeling so much pressure (put on by myself--me, personally) about potty training and pacifier weaning.  I swear that sometimes Facebook can be toxic.  It sometimes makes me panic as a mommy that I'm not doing right or good enough for my daughter.  I am seeing my friends potty training their babies (same age as Kin) and I just feel like I'm not doing right by her because I'm not doing the same thing.  And then the paci weaning.  I have been reading about it on several of my friend's blogs and again, I'm panicking that I'm not doing it as well.

I know that each child develops at different rates.  I know that you never should compare children.  I know that I am doing right by Kinley.  I know that it will be okay in the big scheme of things.  I know that she is a happy, healthy toddler and that potty training today or a year from now is not a big deal.  And pacifier weaning today or four months from now is not a big deal.

But I stress as a mom--because I'm comparing mom to mom and not toddler to toddler.  I never once compare Kinley to any other toddler.  Because, well....I think that she's the top dog.  Why compare, right?!  (I'm not vain--I'm just a mom.)  But I stress that I'm not doing right by her.

Do I feel that she's 100% ready for potty training?  No.  Am I okay with this?  Yes.

Do I feel that she's 100% ready for pacifier weaning?  Yes.  Am I okay with this?  No.

As for potty training, I don't mind the diapers.  I don't think that she's "there yet" with the whole thought process of having to go potty.  I know that she'd rather pee on my carpet than stop playing farm to go and sit on her potty.  She's just not ready.  I'm so okay with that.  I'm not ready for her to grow up yet.  I'm not ready to put that part of her rearing to rest.  I'm not ready to be done with the "baby" Kinley yet.  And maybe when she's two, we'll revisit.  Or, if she tells me that she is ready 100% before then, I'm all on board.

We have a potty chair in the bathroom and when I go potty, I tell her it's time to make the pee-pee come out (I know, TMI), so we both run to the bathroom and I sit on the big potty and she sits on the little potty (fully clothed) and we I pee. Then she hands me the toilet paper and she says "bye bye pee pee."  She's got the concept.  But when you put her on the potty or her chair naked, she wants nothing to do with it.  She'll sit for maybe 5 seconds and then is out of there! 
As for the pacifier, she's ready.  I know that it will be a smooth transition.  I mean, her track record for transitioning has been flawless.  We made a big move when she as 8 months old...she handled the new home/room like a champ.  We moved again a few months later....again, like a champ.  We weaned her from breastfeeding at 15 months....she took it like a champ (I, however, am still in mourning.)  Starting day care after being home with mommy for 13 problems at all.  I just don't see her having an issue with letting go of the paci.  It's all us.  We call it our "ammunition."  We know that when all else fails us, the paci can fix all that is wrong in her world.  And, well, in public, that is key.

The past week, we have stuck to a rule.  Bed time/Nap time only.  I put all of her (6) pacifiers in a cup in the kitchen.  When she's ready for her nap or for bed time, she goes to the cup and takes a pacifier and then runs to her room and goes to her crib.  For nap, I kiss her little face (a hundred times) and put her to bed with her  Pooh and blankie.  At bed time, daddy and I come in and say her prayers, kiss her (a million times) and put her and Pooh to sleep with blankie.  And sometimes, Pooh gets a paci too.  I know, we are weak.

The anticipation of getting that paci is just so exciting!
Daddy "mixes them all up" so that she picks the right one!
She carefully selects the perfect paci for her bed time
Tonight, Pooh got his own paci.
So for now, what we're doing is working.  I even went so far to not even take a paci out of the house when we go places.  Yes, I went to the zoo yesterday with no paci.  I know!  I am so brave. Such a big girl.  And you know what, she didn't ask for it.  We are strict with the nap/bed time only.  The next step will be the holes in the paci.  If she even needs that step.  She may just go cold turkey.  We'll just see how things go...

I'm happy with where we are in our weaning process.  I still plan to to do the Bye-Bye Binky "program" but I have to be sure that we are ready to be rid of the paci.  It's not just about her--we are in this too.

My goal is to be off of it completely by the end of August.  I don't think there will be a problem hitting that goal.  If we don't make it---oh well.  If we do make it---yea, us!  Her pediatrician said to not fret it till after her second birthday.

So that's my plan....not to fret.

But you know me, I like to fret.  And I'm so good at it!


jinnie said...

I'm so happy to hear that the counseling is going well! And you're absolutely right -- DON'T compare yourself with other moms. You are an excellent, loving, wonderful and caring mommy. You're the one and only best mommy there can possibly be for Kinley, and you know this. You do your own thing, and she will grow up to make you proud. :)

Raegan is my world said...

Raegan had her 18 month appt this week and her dr says kids usually are not potty trained until 3. We have a while but like you I also always compare. We sit on the potty to but Raegan does the same as Kinley.

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