O.K.

Yesterday, I started our July spreadsheet for our budget and was filling in our monthly income at the top...and it hit me.  My school salary will be coming to an abrupt end in August.  The days of throwing $1500 at debt each month are going to be over.  And I panic.

I know that Connie {the budget coach} said that we would be okay on one salary, but I don't want to be okay.  I want to be gazelles.  I want to get rid of this debt weighing us down.  I want to build that 20% down payment for our home.  I want to LIVE like no one else.  We can't do that on one income.  We will be okay.  Never before has that word sounded so blah to me.

I apply to at least 2-3 districts a week.  Sometimes, more.  Living in Chicago-land affords me several area districts where I can work.  And I believe that I have applied at all of them.  I send applications.  I send emails to the principals.  All that I get back are the "we filled the position internally" responses.  I am so defeated!  The district where I worked RIF'd over 400 teachers at the end of the school year.  I basically counted that out as an option for fall employment.

The past couple of days, I have been watching the call back list and the available position list.  Names were being crossed off and positions were filling up.  And then yesterday, the last name was crossed off.  And there are positions still listed.  Finally, a glimmer (although a very small glimmer) flashed before my eyes.  I typed up an email to my former principal asking if he's heard anything about what may or may not be open for me to apply to.  He claims that it is still too early to know for sure, but to keep in touch and he would let me know as soon as he heard something.

So, now I have some hope.  Maybe, somehow, someway, I may get back to the district where I was last school year.  I probably won't be at the same school that I was last year, but the same district.  Which is kind of what I wanted.  So I'm okay with that!

I guess that I just wrote off the idea of teaching for the 12/13 school year and now that there is a small chance, I found hope.  Hope that we will be "okay" but in a much higher level of "okay" than before.