Thursday, April 7, 2011

My Sacrifice

She makes my world a better place.
Being a mom is *so hard* sometimes.  It's about sacrifice.  It's about compromise.  It's about unconditional love. 

Kage is still sick.  Still running a fever. 

She can't go to day care.  Not only because of her fever, but the day care lady's son has pink eye and the stomach flu.  So....yeah.  Not wanting any of that.

I have class.  Not just class, but I am scheduled to teach today. 

Kage's dad has to work.

He took off Tuesday to pick her up early and stay home with her.

It's my turn.

So much of a risk for me to miss a class.  In this semester, absences are not acceptable. 

It's not my 'style' to miss class.  I take my education seriously and this close to graduation, I can't mess around.  In my Wednesday class, I've missed two classes and had to leave early once (which counts as an absence) for my mom duties. 

I'm beginning to really fret about my grades! 

My Wednesday professor said that I should be okay....but I just hate getting the reputation of being that student that misses all of the time.

But what can I do?  I'm a mom.  That comes first.  She needs me.  She can count on me.  Regardless of anything else in this life, I am there for her.  Forever and always.

That's what this means.

I will sacrifice all other things for her.

Dad's just don't view the world like that, do they?

Maybe they do, but they don't react the same way that moms do.  Because when her dad and I were discussing the arrangement for today--he was set on the fact that he can not (will not) miss work today because he can't get the reputation of being unreliable at work.

Hmmmm.

I understand that he has to work to put food on our table.  But I have to graduate in December so that I can get out in the workforce to support my daughter!

It's give and take.

It's supposed to be give and take.

My mom just says that I need to deal and get over it because this is what it means to be a mom.  I get that.  I'm not complaining for one millisecond about caring for her.  I *want* to be the one with her today.  I guess what I feel crappy about is sacrifice.

It's not a competition.  I get that.

Maybe I am being a big baby about things...

But maybe I'm not.

2 comments:

hey said...

Sacrifice is great, honey, but selflessness is better. Your mom is right.

Kage is a really nice name. Where is it from?

Cool blog!

Cubs said...

There are some Dads out there that would do anything for their kids...and I would consider myself one of them. I value family higher than anything else...including my job...and if it means losing my job because my family needs me, then so be it. I don't want to work for a company that doesn't understand that family should come first!!!

As for the give and take, yes, there has to be, and there is supposed to be, give and take!!!

You're not being a big baby about things...your voicing your feelings, and perhaps even some frustration.

 
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