Squeaky Feet

So, secretly, I love my new "office."  I can come up here, work on homework, write a blog, check my email, or whatever.....in peace.  I mean, I can still hear her and know what's going on downstairs (I'm in the loft, which over looks the living room) but I don't have her hanging on my legs and whining to help me type.  It's kind of nice. 

I made my cup of coffee and requested ten minutes of blog time....and off I went.  Ahhhh, bliss.  Haha.  It's the little things in life, right?

Yesterday we spent all day (most of the day) looking at new apartments and came up with nothing.  No joke.  The areas where we want to live, just don't offer much in the line of apartments.  So we're going to have to broaden our search.  We are looking at one property this morning and we're really hoping that it is nice....but at this point, I'm pretty negative Nancy about the whole thing.

I'm totally hung up on this mold thing.  I mean, if it comes back as mold, then that's one thing.  But it has to come back as a dangerous level of mold for us to break the lease.  Right?  So I'm not even sure that looking at/falling in love with a new place is the right thing to be doing.  And if it is a dangerous level, do we need an attorney to help us out of the lease or can we just say "hey, this place is no good, we're out of here."

There is no doubt that we want out of this current lease so that we can get a cheaper place that we actually like living in.  But I'm not so certain how possible it is to actually get out of it.  Am I making sense?  I am holding my breath until Monday at 11 when the inspector is actually here and tells me my options.  But I pray that it's "dangerous" enough to get us out, but not "dangerous" enough to have done long term harm.

I had my appointment with Dr. Laura yesterday and while we started out talking about my marriage, our finance stresses, etc., it all got turned into my breastfeeding relationship with Kinley and my complete overwhelming anxiety that comes with the thought of weaning.  I guess I didn't realize how uneasy I am with the idea.  I mean, I know that I'm going to wean her.  I know that I don't want to nurse her till she's 2, but at the same time, I am not sure that *I* can handle the wean.  I have some work to do there.  And thank God for Dr. Laura.  She gets me.  She knows how I think.  She knows what to say to help me solve the questions in my mind.  She knows how to get me to take the baby steps so that I accomplish but never step out of my comfort zone. 

Last night we enjoyed a Saturday night of nothing.  We caught up on some DVR'd shows, hung out with Kinley and just chilled out.  I can't remember the last time we did that (on a Saturday).  It was so nice.  Kinley's sleeping habits are absolutely terrible lately and we fought her to go to bed till 11.  It's been  tough.  Our baby that slept through the night, went to bed on her own, always happy and content, is no longer.  I don't know what to do or think anymore.  Every hour is something new that we're not used to. 

The pediatrician saw four teeth on top coming, so maybe this is all due to that.  But I just don't think that's it.  And a mother's instinct is usually right on.  Or it has been for us.

We're having to miss church today because of Kinley still not feeling her best.  She's still not got her voice back and her nose is stuffy.  If this is the mold doing this to her.....ohhhhhh, I'll be livid!  But maybe it's not.  Maybe she has a cold?  Just no other symptoms other than the raw throat and congestion.

And did I mention that she's walking?  It's not 100% of the time...but she takes 5-10 steps at a time and does it often.  So yeah, we say we have a walker on our hands.  And it's the cutest thing ever.  Ahhhhh, I love that girl.

Goofy face, but I wanted to show you her new "necklace."  And I
know that most parents wouldn't let their child walk around playing
with this, but she only does so when she's with us.  So it's safe(r).
It's a USB cord.  She LOVES it.  Carries it around and normally has
it around her neck like a scarf.  If she sees it on the floor, she grabs
it and whips it around her neck (only once, we're not talking strangulation
here) and will wear it like that for a long time.  Here, she's wearing it for
dinner.  I think it's the cutest thing ever.

We gave her Cheerios in her snack bowl and instead
of eating, she poured them all over the floor.  The flood
 of Cheerios surround her.  And you see my shoes there
(she's a shoe fanatic) and then there is daddy's cell phone
(because she always wants either his or mine) and then there
is her cord/scarf.  Lucy is sitting in the chair using all of the
strength of God to not jump down and devour the Cheerios--
but trying to look innocent as if to say "she did it!"

When we were out shopping with Richie's brother and his girlfriend last weekend, we saw a family (mom, dad, little girl about Kinley's age) shopping with either the mom or dad's parents.  So it was the family and then the grandparents.  The grandma was blind and had a seeing eye dog.  That wasn't so out of the ordinary...having a blind mother, I'm used to seeing that, but I'm always in awe of the seeing eye dogs.  My mother never/still doesn't want one but I so wish she would.  The independence that they bring are just amazing.  I know why she doesn't want one....or maybe I think I know why she doesn't want one and that's her thing....so whatever.  But I've been around several "working dogs" and they are just the most amazing animals ever.  If you've not read about them, do so.  It's pretty cool how they are trained, coupled up with their owners and how they live.  Ah-mazing (how many times can I say that?). 

But I got off on that whole seeing eye dog thing.  That wasn't the point of this story.  The point is this, the little girl that was about Kinley's age was walking with her grandma and she had on the squeaker shoes.  Every tiny step that she took was sounded out by "squeak, squeak" and grandma knew that she was right there. 

I stood there, Auntie Anne's pretzel in hand, and cried.

Something as simple as that squeak, made all of the difference in the world to that grandma.  It brought her the calm that her granddaughter was there with her step for step.  Just think of them being at home....grandma doesn't need to worry about where she's at...she'll hear her every step.  It's something that the sighted take for granted.  So, you think that Kinley will be getting her some squeaky feet?  You betcha.  She probably won't wear them all the time, but you can be certain that they will be her Nonie and Papa shoes!  And who needs ruby slippers when you have squeaky shoes and the power of Nonie and Papa?