Sleep? Yes, please.

I am so tired, I'm not even sure I can blog properly today.  Not that there is a proper way to blog...right?  But my thoughts are swarming everywhere today.

I was up late.  Really, really late.

I didn't leave for the gym until a little after 9, so by the time I tanned and got to my machine, it was probably close to ten.  And then I had my strength training last night, so it's the late night.  I got home a little after midnight.  And then you can't go right to sleep because your body is all hopped up from the workout.  So I sat up till about 1:00.  Kage actually woke up around 12:30 and cried for a second.  She never does that....but I loved the opportunity for a late night cuddle with her.  She unfortunately only wanted a paci and put back to bed.  Ah well....I tried.

She had her 18 month appointment yesterday.

They stripped her down and did her height/weight and head measurements.  For those wondering:  Head:  18.5, Weight:  21 lbs 7 oz (10th%) and Height:  30.5" (20th%).  She keeps going lower and lower in the percentiles, but the doctor just said that she's petite and not to worry.  She got a great report and everything is going well!  I haven't messed up too bad, I guess.

After the measurements, the nurse asks that I leave her in her diaper until the doctor comes in to do her exam.  OH boy....  you can't just leave my child in her diaper.  She sees it as the perfect opportunity to sharpen her streaking skills.  And she did, and she peed on the floor about seven times.  I put the diaper back on about 5 times before I said screw it and just grabbed paper towels to clean up her pee. 

The doctor walked in saying, "I hear we have a streaker in this room."  Yep, that would  be mine!  Gosh I hope she outgrows this stage soon!

My mom said that she thinks the ripped off of the diaper means that she's getting ready to be potty trained.  I say no way.  She does it because she's not supposed to.  Simple as that.  She is rotten.  But she has started this new thing where she'll just go lay down in her room if she's pooped.  She lays there and waits patiently to be changed.  It's so cute!

And don't you love how her horsey has accessories too, just like my little Diva? 

She got one shot at her 18 month appointment and her doctor presented me with the option of doing the Chicken Pox vaccine.  I turned it down for now while I research it more.  I'm a freak about vaccines and don't just give her "what they suggest" because who are they.  Anyone have any info about the chicken pox vaccine that you can pass on?  Did you do it/not do it?  She claims that the "natural" chicken pox that she could catch is much more aggressive than it was when we were kids.  And she wants me to give it to her....but I'm not sure.  When we first chose her as our pediatrician, it was because she was pro-choice when it came to vaccinations.  Now, she seems to really push them.  I'm not sure that I really like that.  But, I'm not sure that it's a deal breaker to find a new dr either.  Finding a good pediatrician is like finding a good bathing suit.  It's nearly impossible.

She had no reaction for this vaccine yesterday, but she's had it before, so I didn't really expect one.  She took it like a champ. 

And before leaving the appointment, I had to schedule her TWO YEAR appointment.  OMG.  My baby is actually going to turn two.  And soon.  I'm not ready.  I'm so not ready.  Where did my tiny baby go?

I miss her tiny body.  I miss her wrinkley skin.  I miss her soft, silky, dark hair.  I miss her cuddling!  Ugh.  But I still don't have the desire to have another.  I miss her as a baby.  I don't miss "a baby."  And this may seem totally weird, and I know that it's kind of selfish, but I want my only memories of pregnancy and childbirth to be for her and of her.  I want to remember HER in my belly.  I want to remember giving birth to HER.  I want to only have memories of HER as an infant.  Is that crazy?  Our families are not happy with our decision and honestly, I don't think my husband is either.  He wants another.  He wants a boy.  But right now, I'm not.  And that's my right.  Kinley makes me feel whole.  I don't need more.

And why the blog took that direction, I have no idea.

I need to sleep.

Oh, and P.S.  Yesterday, she slept in until 9:45.  That is a world record for her.  No joke.  
Oh, and P.P.S.  Groupon's deal today is 20 bucks at Old Navy for only 10 dollars.  Yea.  Go get one.