Tuesday, May 10, 2011

That didn't come out exactly as I had planned....

Not that I had really planned how that blog came out.  I'm talking about the one I posted just a few hours ago regarding Mother's Day.

I told you how I tossed it around in my head for a couple of days and I kind of knew what I wanted to say....  but now I feel guilty.

This is my "thing."  I feel guilty about everything.  I worry so much about hurting someone else that I overlook the fact that it hurt me.

I don't want to hurt his feelings by blogging what he already knows....  but I needed to blog it because it hurt my feelings.

And this blog is about my feelings.  So why the guilt?

It would be one thing if he was one of those guys that never did anything nice for me.  There are guys out there that are like that, and I feel for the girls that love them!  But he didn't used to be like this.  When we dated, he treated me like a princess.  And then the ring went on and the respect and appreciation went out the window.  Becoming parents has made it even more of a rare occasion.

I do my part to try and make things like they used to be...but I'm learning that I can't try enough for the two of us.  I can only go half the distance.

So, don't think that I'm just sad that I didn't get a huge present for Mother's Day....because that's not it at all.  I would be thrilled with a dandelion and a bologna sandwich picnic in the park.....if he had just taken the time to plan it.

On a side note:  I just painted Kage's toe nails pink for the very first time.  It is my reason to smile!  She is my reason to smile.

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