Chubbo

That's it!  I've had it.  I'm tired of being unhappy with myself.  I'm tired of looking like I'm pregnant with number 2.  I'm tired of feeling unattractive.  I'm tired of looking "in my 30s."  I'm tired of my mom jeans.  I'm tired of feeling tired.

This is me, one year ago.  Four months after giving birth.  I can hardly remember feeling that thin.  Or that good.  I was so confident and so happy with my body.  And that was AFTER the baby. 

So this whole, "I had a baby and my stomach will never look the same" story, isn't going to fly. 

I need to get over myself.  Get over the excuses.  Get off my butt, put the junk food down and get outside and run.  Or into the gym and bust my bucket on the elliptical.  That's the only way. 

I've become so accustomed to eating anything and everything and it's just not going to fly anymore.

As of today, the pop goes away.  I mean, I didn't drink a lot of pop, but when I did, it was regular and not diet.  And I justified it by saying that I was "allowed" to have regular pop since I dealt with gestational diabetes and couldn't have regular pop through my pregnancy.  That's a line of bull, Joy.  Get over it.

Sweet tea is a famous drink in our house, and I won't allow myself to have it anymore.  From now on, it's water.  With a lemon wedge and a splenda.  Tastes just like lemonade. 

And from now on, I'll smack my own hand when I reach for a swiss cake roll or cheese puffs.  *Back away from the snack cabinet, chubby!*

I am going to increase my activity.  Today I danced with KG until I broke a sweat.  I did crunches with her sitting on my belly.  She's loving the new games!  At night after I get her in bed, I will take Lucy for a walk....or just go for a run by myself.  There is a nice gym not too far from our place, so I may look in to joining there.

I'm not alone in my journey.  My bestie is going to be right there with me the whole way.  Our goal is 20 pounds.  Ten this month and ten next month.  We can do it.  I just wish that she lived closer so that we could do our night workouts together.

She's encouraging me to stick to the 1200 calorie a day plan....but it's going to be so hard for me.  Dieting this way is all new to me.  In the past, to drop weight I would starve myself and work out twice a day.  It always worked!  Always.  So I'm going to try the 1200 daily calories thing.  I downloaded the myfitnesspal ap to the Touch today. 

I am just ready to not look like this anymore.  We went on a walk yesterday and every store front that we walked in front of had me staring into my own reflection.  Wanting so badly to deny the gut that I saw. 

I will lose this.  And I will lose it by summer.  We have a beautiful pool right outside our door and I want to use it and not feel like hiding in a tent.  And not only will I do this for myself, but I will be doing this for KG.  I want to show her how to be healthy.  Eating healthy, working out and taking care of yourself is so important!  Wish me luck.