Have you ever noticed that pets lay it all on the line? I mean, with feelings and emotions. There is no question. You know what they're feeling because they show it, without thinking it's wrong. Because really, it's not wrong to feel. It's completely normal (here I go with that "normal" word again, for whatever it means) to feel and to show feelings. But for some stupid reason, we've been trained to hide them.
Yesterday, Lucy cried/whined all day. She wandered our new apartment and whined. She sat at the door and cried. She looked out the window and cried. She just whined and cried all.day.long. While my first instinct was to get mad, I now have realized that she's showing what I'm feeling. I yelled at her, put her in her crate, told her to stop but she wouldn't. She just kept up the whining and crying.
She wanted to go home.
Kinley has been uneasy in our new "home" as well. It's an adjustment for all of us.
And while I know that I'm thrilled that we're out of the townhouse....this move is just another transition that we're having to deal with. And transition is not easy. Not on a dog, not on a baby and not on a family.
This place is homey. My friend, often referred to as "bestie", helped us move and she agreed that this place is much homier than our last place. She thinks we'll be really happy here. I believe her. I'm just having a hard time getting to that point. I'm still in the shock phase, I think.
I look around and see our stuff scattered about and the organization is non-existent. I'm very Type A and need organization. So right now, I'm on high alert and so easily irritated. Which in turn is not making this transition any easier.
The biggest problem is that we went from 1700 sq. ft. to 1000 sq. ft. Reminds of "fat guy in a little coat"....you know what I'm talking about.
So I'm working hard to make it work. I'm really trying. My bestie was trying to help me make sense of this cluttered mess and she suggested putting one of our bookcases next to this curio (that I really dislike but feel obligated to have because my grandma gave it to me). Well, I immediately said no, they can't sit next to each other because the woods don't match. (Ummmm, yeah, I'm like that) She reminded me that I'm living with what will work, not with perfection. She's right. We're not here to win a spread in Better Homes and Gardens magazine. They aren't going to come knocking at my apartment door wanting to do a photo shoot of my nicely wood matched furniture and beautiful furniture (that was purchased for comfort, not beauty). Joy, GET OVER IT.
So I swallowed my pride and kicked myself in the butt (not literally, although that would be funny to watch me trying) and agreed that this next year is about survival. I'm living in a simpler way and trying to simplify. Yeah. Don't sweat the small stuff. Don't waste my precious time and energy worrying about a bookcase not matching a curio. Seriously. Worry about time for school or time for my family or time for myself.
It's been tough, I'm not going to lie. But I'm determined to not let this move get the best of me. I'm tackling one box at a time. One room at a time. It will get done. And it may not be today or tomorrow...but it will get done.
We did make it to Church ABC this morning and again, it reaffirmed my decision that we've found the most amazing church community. Seeing those five guys show up yesterday at our doorstep to sweep in and make our move the most effortless....it was God at work. I don't know if I've completely wrapped my mind around it quite yet. But I do know that I've never met a more generous and loving community. I feel blessed.