Friday, November 19, 2010

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to...

Here I go with another one of those blogs where I'm probably best to just keep my mouth shut.  But I can't.  I've never been one to be able bite my tongue.  Okay, maybe I have.  I think I've always been one of those people that wishes they weren't one to be able to bite their tongue.  Did ya get that?  Cause I had to say it outloud three times to be able to type it.  No joke.

I have had *the* day know where.  Kinley amused me with a twenty minute nap this morning so that I could dish to my bestie on the phone.  I rarely get phone time anymore.  She had to hear first hand what I'm about to spew all over this post.  Ew.  Spew is an ugly, gross word. 

I'm just in one of those moods, in one of those funks.  And Kinley choosing to not nap was just icing on the cake. 

Finally, at 2:00, she went to sleep.  I finally got my shower.  I finally got to clean up the mess from last night and all day today (aside from the tornado of a mess in my living room) and "brewed" myself a cup of instant coffee.  I'm new to the instant coffee world.  I received a free sample of Nescafe Tasters Choice and I must say...I am enjoying it.  Even with my 'sounded better than it tastes' creamer.  Heck, I'd venture so far to say that it's a pretty kick butt cup o' coffee. 

I really hesitated even blogging today because I just know that it's a boo-hoo, poor me, pity pot, pity party (table for one) kind of post.  And a blogger that I really 'look up to' (that's not the right way to say it, but you catch my drift) recently did a blog and mentioned that she doesn't do posts about nagging about her husband because frankly, who wants to hear it?  So I have been having this war in my mind about to post-not to post....  and here I am.  So you know who won that battle.

Tomorrow  Sunday is my birthday (I don't say that just to get "happy birthday" comments....although you can if you want.  Comments make me smile.).  I'll be the young age of 32.  Tomorrow is deer season.  Richie is a hunter.  *deep breath*

While I know that hunting is his *thing* and he told me from early on that hunting is his number one love....I always hit this low each year that it rolls around.  Not because it's hunting season, but because it ALWAYS falls on my birthday.  I try to lie and say "oh, it's no big deal, it's just a birthday" but this year, for some stupid IS a big deal.  I've put Kinley first every single day since she's been conceived.  (I'm not complaining about that for a second.)  But damn it, I want my day.  I want to wake up to a Starbucks or DD in hand.  I want to have my baby brought to me for her morning nursing so that we can cuddle and nurse in bed.  I want to have a day ahead of me to look forward to.  Maybe time alone to get my eyebrows waxed and hair cut (boy do I need it) or maybe a pedicure or maybe just mall time to wander and try things on without having to cram a stroller in the tiny space with me. 

My bestie and I talked a few weeks ago about a plan for my day.  Richie was going to go hunting, her mom would watch Kinley and her and I were going out for dinner and a few drinks.  Well, that can't happen now because of the way that Richie's work schedule is, we have to do Thanksgiving down there this weekend as well. 


Here is where I get pathetic.

I'm going to wake up on my birthday alone.  Take care of Kinley and hopefully arrange some time to take a shower.  Today, it almost didn't happen.  I hope to find time to see a friend or two while in town.  And maybe catch some lunch at some point during the day.  My goal is to find somewhere to have some friends meet up (baby friendly of course) for dinner and conversation.  We'll see if I can pull that off.....or if Richie will join us.

And then, maybe, I'll see Richie for a few minutes before he goes to bed Saturday night.  Happy Birthday to me.

In Richie's defense, he did take me to see The Lion King last weekend.  He said that we were celebrating my birthday that day.  But while I appreciate The Lion King (I really, truly do) I still feel somewhat shafted.  I didn't get a card, no coffee in bed, no baby brought to me in bed, and no time off for "me time."  It was your average, same as any other, kind of day.  But we went to Texas Roadhouse and to see The Lion King.

Ugh.  I just want to kick myself.  I'm so pathetic.  Why am I so unappreciative?  Who wouldn't be happy to go see The Lion King?  That is what I said I wanted....and he delivered.  But do you see my point?  That just because of hunting season, my day got moved?  It's been moved every year that him and I have been together.  I should be used to it but I'm not. 

I need to respect that this is his hobby.  It's only a few days of the year and this year he's only partaking all day Saturday and Sunday morning.  Get off the pity pot, Joy.  You're acting 2, not 32.


Linda said...

You are a Scorpio [scorpio horoscope ] and you are strong! Who knows, you'll have lots of surprises tomorrow.. You will be ok... By the way, your baby is so adorable!

Anonymous said...

Oh Joy. I want so badly to run up there, take you out to lunch, and then to a spa or something. While you enjoy a message or eyebrow wax (not that it's to be enjoyed) I would watch Kinley. While I know I can't do this my is that I feel for you. Your not being selfish or a whiner you just need that me time despritly bad. We all know how you are an excellent mommy and how you do put Kinley and your family first before yourself but a saying we use at my house is that if mamma aint happy aint nobody happy. You need to get out for yourself birthday or not. Can't wait to see you all next week. Told Dan about that restaurant you and richie we're talking about. Him and the girls are excited. See ya soon.


Template: Blog Designs by Sheila