I'm just not myself today. My mind is filled with worry. I'm worried about my baby girl. Something is just not right with the whole sleeping situation. As I sat on our top step from 1:00-1:30 this morning, listening to her screams, I just felt that she is crying in fear. She seems frightened and crying for us. What is she afraid of? Is she afraid? The answers aren't to be found, unfortunately.
So yes, I was up last night with her for an hour. She then got up at 6 as usual. Richie and I came to an agreement that we'd take her down to only one nap a day. Maybe that would help the situation. Well, 8:30 this morning she couldn't hold her eyes open anymore and she fell asleep. I put her in her crib at 8:50 (after rocking her to sleep) and she was up screaming again at 9:35. I was just getting out of the shower, so I didn't run right in to her. She screamed hard for about ten minutes while I got dressed. Gone are the days where my baby wakes up cooing and laughing and talking to us over the monitor. My baby wakes up in screaming fits. There is no waking time, it's like her eyes open and instantly she is screaming.
I'm sad. Very, very sad. I feel like I'm failing at this mommy thing. What happened at 9.5 months that I'm not seeing? Why did she all of a sudden take this turn? Our routine hasn't changed. Her room hasn't changed. Nothing is different except for her behavior. I just want my baby back. I want to fix what she's asking me to fix. Am I missing something here?
During her waking times, she's happy and acts the same as always....I just don't get it.