Restore Defaults

Are they not going to sell any pumpkin flavored coffee creamer this year?  I know that I've seen it in stores before...when I wasn't looking for it.  I have tried two different groceries and neither have it.  I settled for a vanilla caramel this time and it's just ehhh.  I've not always been a fan of home brewing (coffee) and thought it never tasted as good as purchased coffee.  Then I decided that I didn't like the taste of a $10 a week coffee habit and realized that home brewing tastes just fine!  Just add enough flavored creamer and you're golden.  So I brew my 5 cups of Folgers Bistro Blend (which in turn gives me two cups of coffee, who measures those lines on the pot anyway?  they must use shot glasses in the Mr. Coffee factory to measure) and add my weekly choice of creamer.  Sure would love to have a week or two of pumpkin though.

Did you like my post yesterday?  The one where I was in the middle of a complete melt down?  I lost it yesterday.  It happens.  I have my days.  Lots of them.  I would swear that on those days, God just hates me and wants to see me lose my mind.  I have a bad habit of allowing myself to take on too much and then feeling like a complete failure when things don't go just right.  When you take on that much, there is so little wiggle room.  You need wiggle room.  Especially when you have a child.  I am learning how to wiggle.

I remember a post I wrote a week or so ago about making a schedule or routine to help me not feel so over whelmed.  I need to go back and reread that obviously, because yesterday was just ridiculous.  Eventually, I did calm down but it took me a couple of hours.  Kinley did take a nap (about two hours) and I forced myself to sit sideways in the recliner (my chosen position) and watch "I'm Pregnant and Homeless" and realized that I don't have it quite so bad....as I tried to tell myself earlier that day.

How do I change my defaults?  You know when you are working on Word or whatever, you change a setting and there is that button that says "restore default?"  Well, I want that button.  For days like that.  I get a bit off track and I just need to restore my default.  It's way too easy to just lay down and die and say "oh my God this sucks!" or "oh my God, I think I'm going to die today!" or "nothing EVER goes my way and life is just not faiiiiiiirrrrrr!"  That is so much easier than getting up and going on. 

I have such high expectations for myself and I just wish I wouldn't be so critical.  Maybe the whole schedule or routine is a bad thing for someone like me?  Because honestly, I had a schedule for yesterday and because of the way the day was going, nothing was getting done.  And then I felt like a failure.  Once I had that time to sit sideways and watch TV for 30 minutes....I was fine.  I then got up, got the dishwasher unloaded, reloaded, house cleaned up, etc. and I went about my day.  I guess sometimes you just have to break in order to rebuild.  or restore.

Yesterday, my friend Kami, referred me to a blog and I must say that I'm in love.  It's called Heir to Blair and her writing is amazing.  Another blog I found (found it by clicking "next blog" up there on the top left) is called Life After I "Dew".  I thoroughly enjoy reading both of their writings.  They make me feel like I'm catching up with an old friend.  It's nice to have that when you really don't have many friends "IRL."  I mean, I have friends...but since moving, I've not met anyone.  I'm working on that.  Okay, no I'm not.  But I have hopes to work on that in the near future.

Last night we watched our favorite show, Survivor.  Love love love it.  This season is starting out slow, as it always does and we're rooting for the older tribe.  We'll probably switch later, we always do.  I don't really have a favorite player yet but that Nay on the young tribe should be ashamed of herself for the way that she talks about the girl with the artificial leg.  Her mom would not be proud.  Shame on her.  We were hoping that she would get the ax last night but geez, the way that Shannon was taking at tribal council, it's no wonder he got it.  How stupid to shoot yourself in the foot like that!

We then watched that new show "Better With You," (i think that's what it's called) and it was pretty good.  It's one of the new ones that we're DVRing.  We'll see if it continues to spark our interest.  Then after a friend's recommendation, we watched "Modern Family."  We laughed and will probably give it another shot.  We also DVR'd "The Middle" but haven't watched it yet.  Isnt' that the same as "Malcolm In the Middle?"  I never watched that but maybe Richie did?  I'm not sure.  He doesn't seem to excited to watch it but I just love that kid that is in it. 

My guilty pleasure, which I'm almost embarrassed to admit, is Teen Mom.  I know that it's a teen show but I just am so in to it.  It's crazy.  An hour a week is just not enough.  I watched this week's episode yesterday while Kinley was nursing.  That Amber and Gary really need to get a grip or someone needs to take that little girl away.  They aren't doing one single thing to benefit her well being.  It is really sad.  Farrah needs a dose of reality.  She feels that everyone owes her.  Her mom is just as nuts as she is but luckily her dad seems to have at least half a brain.  Which is more than her and her mom put together.  Poor, poor Katelynn.  I just want to take her in.  Her and Tyler are *the most* mature and just amaze me.  I hope that they make it and I honestly think they will.  Katelynn's mom is not right.  I hope she watches these episodes back and feels like the ass that she is.  Maci is adorable and I'm so happy she moved to be close to Kyle.  I honestly don't think that Ryan gives two poops about Bentley.  He's such a waste.  You know, I was thinking, Farrah always complains about no money but don't they get paid for doing the show?  And Catelynn's mom surely gets something for allowing the cameras in her home/car...so why doesn't she have money for Butch's attorney?  See what I mean...I'm way too crazy about this show.  It's my thing.