Saturday, December 4, 2010

It's Snowing...

I wrote a post yesterday, but never did publish it.  I was having a Debbie Downer day and really didn't feel like sharing it with the world. 

I woke up this morning to a beautiful display of snow and it's so pretty and so perfect and so peaceful.  Richie is out hunting, Kinley is back to sleep (after a 5 a.m. nursing), Lucy is still in bed.  It's just me, my coffee and the hum of the laptop.  Peace.

I'm missing my dad.

It's the holidays, they are always hard.  A friend of mine lost her dad two days ago and hearing about that just brought it all back to me.  November 30 was the day that God took my dad away from me.  Five years ago.  It never gets easier.  I wish he was here to see Kinley.  I wish he could have met Richie.  I wish that he could see me now.  I wish I could see him now.

Christmas is magical.  Even though Santa isn't real (sorry to break that to you) the magic is still very much alive.  It's in all of the lights, all of the fresh snow, it's in the music, it's in [most people]'s hearts.  It's got to be the most magical time of year.  It is for me.  And for some reason, my dad's memory comes to me the most around this time of year.

I realize how much I need to find a church up here.  We kind of let our search fizzle out.  We went to one and it fell flat on our face and we just didn't try another.  There are a hundred different ones to try (we're in Chicago-land, after all) but we're hesitant because we know that Kinley has gotten out of practice of church behavior.  Well, it's that and the fact that we're traveling almost every weekend. 

Having both families living away, we're always on the go.  Always.  After the first of the year, it's not happening.  We're not going, going, going like we did the past few months.  If for nothing else, it kills the budget.  I budget for $100 a week on gas.  Ummm, Richie can't commute (grrrrr!) two hours each day AND drive us down state for $100 a week.  And I'm tired of blowing the budget.  And more than that, this is our home up here now.  We need to spend some time at home. 

Finding a church is high on my list come the first of the year.  Hold me to that.

Richie is duck hunting today, and I've never seen anyone more excited to wake up at 3:00 a.m. and go sit and freeze to death waiting on a duck to fly by.  It's no lie to say that I just don't get it.  I guess I just don't "appreciate" the sport.  Whatever.  To each his own.  He loves it, so I tell him to go.  When he gets home, I have hopes of getting the Christmas tree up...and I wanted to put some lights up outside, but with the beautiful snowfall that we have now....I don't see that happening.  But we'll see.

I'll be sure to post some pictures of the Christmas-ness that has landed in our home. 

Happy weekend, friends!


Heather said...

Love the pic of the snow! I'm sorry that you're missing your dad so much... I know people say that time will ease the pain but I've never really believed that, when you lose someone the pain is always there. Praying for you =)

Marie said...

What kind of church are you looking for? Ive found a couple but they are a little far? Maybe we could hunt together and hold each other accountable?

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