I'm getting old and falling apart

When you pee on that little stick and see that faint little "+" pop up, you immediately zoom into this land of bliss where everything is soft, fuzzy, beautfiul, happy, pink (or blue), la la, ga ga, perfect.  You rarely zoom into the land where you're so tired you can't function, you are so busy that you forget to shower, going to the grocery store is your major accomplishment for the week.....  and in my case, you're sicker than a dog with no explanation as to why.

Since getting our own little "+" slice of heaven, I have had more health issues than I ever thought I would.  I know that I'm getting older and things just aren't the same, but my goodness....I'm falling apart!  During my pregnancy, I became diabetic.  I had a port in my big ole' belly for my 4x daily insulin shots.  A few weeks after giving birth, I was in the hospital for an emergency surgery to have my gall bladder removed.  It seems that the pregnancy made my gall bladder go wonky and it created these stones that made my gall bladder resemble a honeycomb on ultrasound and the stones worked their way into the ducts to my (?) liver.  Nice, huh?  I have anxiety that is worse than it ever has been and my stress is through the roof.  I now crave chocolate non-stop and can't stomach almost all other foods.  And now, I've become dependent on a daily regimen of Prilosec.  That's the newest ailment. 

Maybe it's unfair to blame my pregnancy....but I'd be willing to bet that it is the culprit.  About two weeks ago, maybe a little more, I started having this all day nausea.  It was miserable.  I couldn't do hardly anything because I just felt sick all day long.  In the beginning, I thought it was the flu.  I hear it's going around and I thought that (God forbid) I had caught it.  Well, it never progressed passed the nausea stage, and the nausea stage never went away.  What the heck?  The longer it went on, the more that I realized how much it resembled my all day sickness when I was pregnant with Kinley.  So reluctanly, we bought a test.  This is our first real scare.  I *am* preventing pregnancy.  We are not ready for another.  The fear of taking that test was intense.  Part of me wanted it to be positive so that I would have an answer to why I had been so, so, so sick.  But then the realistic part of me was screaming NO!, it just *can't* be positive! 

Well, it was negative.  *sigh of relief*

I finally tell my mom about this extreme nausea that I'm dealing with.  I was down a few pounds from being unable to eat and I knew I had to do something.  Our new insurance with the husband's new job doesn't start until January, so we are "floating" (which is never a good thing to do, btw).  I couldn't go to the doctor.  Mom said that she takes Nexium daily for the same issues.  Hmmmmm.  So we went to Tar-ghet and picked some up.

That next morning I took my first dose, and by afternoon, my nausea had subsided.  You don't know what great relief that was.  Holy cow.  I wanted to scream my thanks to God.  The next couple of days, I took it first thing in the morning and felt GOOD all day.  It was amazing.  Three days down the road and the nausea was resurfacing by about 2 p.m.  So now I'm guessing that the dosage isn't strong enough for my issue....or maybe it was only masking a different problem.

Either way, I'm calling a doctor today to get this checked out. 

The bad thing about moving to a new area is having to find a new doctors.  Doctors are so hard to find.  You have to find one you trust, are comfortable with, that understands you, yadda, yadda, yadda.  And I'm not your average patient either.  I'm a tad high maintenance (wha?!  NO!).  Maybe more than a tad.  I'm a full time job in itself.

I am thinking that I do have some stomach acid issue...but I also think that it's majorly stress related.  My stress levels are through the roof right now and I think my stomach (and back and neck) are paying for it.

Having a baby made me old.  But she's worth every second.

Ever feel like someone is watching you?