Kinley Says...

Lately, the things that come out of our girl's mouth, just crack me up!  Everyday, there seems to be something new...and I wish I could write them all down.  But life is happening and I can't always write things down.  But here are a few that are fresh in mind that I wanted to share...

Remember how I mentioned "the man" in my So What! post this week?  Well, if not, let me fill you in.  You see, Kinley is a challenging child.  Especially in public.  So to combat this bad challenging behavior, I have come up with this lie story that there is a man, that sits in the back of every store, that gives spankings to little kids that don't behave.  I know, I'm horrible.  But there was a desperate moment in Aldi one day that had my child running and throwing produce.  I was desperate, okay.  Don't judge.  But telling her about "the man" had her holding the side of the cart for the remainder of the trip.  So there.

So yeah, "the man" is in every store.  She asks about him all the time.  "Is the man here?  Where is the man?  What's the man doing?"

We went to the dance store last week.  Kinley was being horrible!  Running through the store, running through the racks, kicking off her shoes....yeah.  Luckily it was only us and a friend of ours in the store.  Otherwise, I would have walked out in embarrassment.  I told her that the man was in the back.  Near the fitting rooms, there was a door to the store room open.  "The man is back there, do I need to go and get him!?"  She straightened right up!  For the most part.  So this trip ran right through nap time.  She was over due.  On the way home, she was hysterical.  First, she was crying for her boogey shop (shopping cart).  We had passed a grocery store and she saw the carts outside.  She wanted to get in one.  So she's freaking out for the boogey shop. And yes, I recorded it.

THEN, as if that fit wasn't enough....she starts crying for the man.  She is crying hysterically that she "needs her man! I need my man!  I want my man to hold me!"  Ummmmm, yeah.  Fabulous.

Another day, I was getting ready to shower and told her to stay in my bed with Lucy to watch Super Why.  She asked where I was going and I told her to take a shower.  She asked why...of course, she always asks why.  I told her that I was dirty.  She then responds, "have you been playing on a farm?!"  Yes, that's exactly it.

When she sings the song, "there were two in the bed and the little one said, roll over, roll over, so they all rolled over and one fell off....." (stop me).  She sings, "and the little one said, roll ova-bah, roll ova-bah".  Yes, I love it.  And suggest that song to her a million times a day just to hear her sing it.

She is very much in to the whole "who is who and what is what" right now.  Defining genders and roles is really big in her world.  So every day, several times a day, we are clarifying her questions. It goes something like this:
Kinley:  "Daddy, you're a boy?"
Richie:  "Yes, daddy is a boy."
Kinley:  "I'm a boy, too, same."
Richie:  "No, you are a girl.  A little girl."
Kinley:  "And Daddy's a little guul too?"
Richie:  "No, Daddy is a boy and you are a girl."
Kinley:  "Daddy's a boy?"
Richie:  "Yes, Daddy is a boy."
Kinley:  "Oh."
Kinley:  "I a boy too, same."
Richie:  deep sigh.

Hot mess!  A cell phone in each pocket.  She
thinks she's something else.

It's really sad how easily you forget the cute things that they say...just this morning on our way home from story time in the park, she said something that was just so cute.  And I told myself to remember it for later.  Guess what?!  It's gone.  I have no clue what it was.  How often does that happen?  Daily?  Makes me want to bring a notepad and paper everywhere that I go just to keep record of all of those sweet words that come out of her mouth!

So What!

It has been about forever and a day since I have linked up with Shannon, at Life After I Dew, for a So What Wednesday...but here we go....

This week, I'm saying So What if...

• I have a plethora of McDonald's toys in my backseat.  My girl loves "chicky donalds" and I'm a bad mom for taking her too often.
• I have not put on "real" make-up since school ended in June.  I do throw on some mascara every now and then.
• I tell Kinley that there is "a man" in every store that watches for children acting naughty.  He is the "spankings man" and all we have to do is tell him that she's being naughty.  Yep, straight to hell.
• I totally overspent on the clothing category this month.  I went to Target.  Enough said.
• Lucy has overspent on her "pet care" category as well....$423 this month.  WTH?!  Vaccinations, boarding and then got sick at the boarders.  Ridiculous.  But we paid in cash and still got to eat!  Thank you Dave Ramsey!
• Speaking of Dave Ramsey....we are addicted to his shows!  His app is free and filled with his show recordings.
• Kinley needs constant entertaining.  She refuses to play in her room or on her own.  Is that normal?
• I enjoy Kinley's ballet class more than she does.  Well, almost as much.  I love the moms that I get to visit with while she's in class! 
• I beamed with pride when Kage took her reading log into the library yesterday.  She colored in all of the spaces herself and earned her reward.  She was so proud!
• I slacked on all of the "educational" things that I wanted to do with her this summer.  

Pinning Fool

Are you a pinterest'er?  It took me a while to get on board with the whole thing.  Kind of like Twitter....even though I'm still not a consistent Tweeter.  I have a hard time latching on to the newest and greatest, maybe it's my age.  But pinterest is something that took me a while to catch on to but now, I love it.

I've really noticed a change in it lately.  I remember the first time I browsed the site.  I remember it being full of "oh my gosh, why didn't I think of that!?" types of things.  Little tips and tricks to make life easier.  For example, the bathroom faucet extender.  Genius.  We use it daily for washing little hands--because of the "I wanna do it!" attitude.  Now she can "do it!"

Recently, I'm noticing a whole lot of, "wow, now that is cool.  But I so could never pull that off." kinds of things.  And it's sad because I'm really getting the itch to start crafting.  And sometimes, I fool myself into thinking that I actually could make some of the pins that I see...but know that it will turn out looking like a kindergarten art project.

Being all "I wanna house and I want it now!" lately makes me want to start a 'hope chest' of sorts.  Did you have a hope chest growing up?  They're a trunk, usually made of cedar. I had one....but it was pretty hopeless.  There really was nothing in it.  And now it sits somewhere (maybe my garage?) empty.  I have so many crafty pins that I want to make for the day that we actually do buy and move.  Cool things to put in our home.

I went to a yard sale over the weekend and it was literally a pinterest pin graveyard.  This lady must have tried every pin she could find.  And then tried to sell them in her sale.  And she was proud of her work!  I couldn't help but laugh to myself when I saw some of her stuff marked at like $20.  I mean, come on lady.  I see that it's a 2x4 with scrapbook paper cut into petals.  I'm not paying you $20 for that.

I think that pinterest has created a mindset that we are all artists in our own rights.  In a way, that's pretty cool. But in another, it's so deceiving.  I have hundreds of pins full of big plans.  But let's face it, if pinterest ever dies.  Those pins die with it.  I am a mad pinner, but a sad do'er.  Aside from recipes, I really don't do any of it.  yet.

But these are on dock:

I think I can, I think I can.  Stay tuned for the results of this hot mess.

The last one, is first up.  And since it's a printable, I am pretty sure I can handle it.  But we shall see.

Trouble in Sleepyville

Kinley was a champion sleeper.  At 9 weeks old, she slept through the night.  By 9 months, we could put her in bed awake and she would self soothe and fall to sleep on her own.  And then around 18 months-ish, it all fell apart.  We were back to having to get her to sleep (usually rocking her) before laying her down...and now, we lay on her floor next to her bed until she's asleep.  Ugh.  How did it come to this?

She is two (and a half) and should not need us to lay next to her bed for her to fall asleep.

We did the cry it out method for a while--and while it SUCKED--it worked.  It hasn't been every night since 18-ish months, but there were gaps when she would self soothe to sleep.  Do they still call it self soothing at this age?  So cry it out did work for us.  I think that it took at least five years off of my life--but it did work to our benefit.

At this point in the game, I feel that she's too old for the cry-it-out.  She can talk, she can reason, she can put the guilt trip down.  It wouldn't be so bad if we could go in with her and then thirty minutes later, she would be asleep.  Oh no---we're talking an hour to two hours EACH NIGHT being on her floor next to her bed while she's talking, singing, reading, playing.  I know, I know...we're crazy.  But don't judge.  I've yet to meet a perfect parent.

For a few months around her second birthday, we had it under control.  We had a routine and she did well.  Bath at 7, brush teeth, read books, say prayers, and good night.  We left her room and she was left to fall asleep.

I blame ourselves for the situation that we're in.  We got lazy.  We got tired of the routine and quit.  We kept pushing bed time later and later and eventually just quit it all together.  I think that we were tired of being tied to the apartment every night at 7 to start the routine. Especially now with it staying light out so much later and Richie working longer days.  Starting a bedtime routine at 7 just made us feel robbed of our evenings with her.

So I know the problem is us.  But what can we do about it now?  It's going to be difficult to get it under wraps at this point...especially with her and I being home all summer.  Let's face it, the child sleeps till she wakes up--instead of her 5:50 a.m. wake up call during the school year.  So she's sleeping later.  Nap schedule is not consistent because of the sporadic wake up time and our schedule varying day by day.

Geez, there is no consistency in our child's life.  Yikes.  I guess that it took me typing that all out to realize it.

But we have to fix it.

For our sanity and her well being.  It's just not a good situation.

We are planning to start our bedtime routine again.  I've been researching it online and have found that at this age, it's important to make the child feel like they still have choices in the situation.  So I can let her choose her own jammies (she does anyway--had to move her underwear and jammie drawer to the bottom of the dresser so that she could make her own choices), let her choose three books (you put the limit on how many books but she chooses the ones she wants to read) and put her to bed.  But what I'm unsure about is the end part.....put her to bed.  Do we go back to cry it out?  Is that healthy at this age?  Will it be effective?

I have noticed that on the nights that she falls asleep dramatically (as in, hysterical crying, because we're trying to fix this problem), she wakes several times throughout the night.  If she falls asleep peacefully (with us on her floor) she will sleep {mostly} soundly.

No joke, I sometimes feel as if I have a newborn again.  There are nights that I am up three or four times to put her back to sleep.  I am thinking that it could be night terrors, or something.  I'm really unsure.  And a  friend of mine said that when her 2.5 year old has to cry herself to sleep, she goes somewhere where she can't hear her, to help her sanity.  Well, we live in a tiny apartment.  I can't go anywhere but outside, and that's illegal and super unsafe.

What do you suggest?  Have you had experience with this?  Advice?

This night, she decided to sleep on the floor.
Daddy usually falls asleep there too.

Do we suck it up and let her grow out of it?  We have started taking headphones into her room with us (usually only one of us lays next to her, sometimes both of us) and listen to the Dave Ramsey show on our phones.  It is much better than just laying there staring at the ceiling, just waiting for her to pass out.  Our parent's generation, and older, tell us to cherish these days when she wants held or rocked to sleep.  I get that.  I really, really do.  But I also know that it's not healthy for her--our our marriage--to keep this up.  We DREAD bed time.  Because even if we try to rock her to sleep, which I feel is crazy {for me}, she will think it's play time.

I know that she has full control...she has full control in every aspect of our life.  And we are aware of that.  But slightly unsure what to do to take it back.

Any ideas or advice is welcomed and appreciated!

We Are Still New At This

We always said that we love living in Chicago-land for the availability of things to do and things to see.  But honestly, we rarely take advantage.  Yesterday we wanted to do something special with Kinley but really weren't sure what.  On a whim, I suggested that we take her on a train ride.  So we kind of just went with it.

The Metra goes through our town several times a day going to and from the city.  It makes several stops along the way in the different suburbs.  We decided that we would take a short ride to a neighboring community, get ice cream and ride back.  She was stoked!

Because our plans were really on a whim and not planned out with a schedule in front of us, we were hustlin!  I was at Michael's during her nap and texted to see if she was up yet.  Richie said that she was, so I decided to rush home to get ready for our trip.  He informed me that the next train came through in like a half hour.  Shouldn't be a big deal, I thought, we live just minutes from the train station.

I picked them up and off we went.  Well, wouldn't you know that when we're in a hurry, there is a competition bike race going through town and every street that we need to go down is closed.  We fly into the station parking lot only to hear the train track gates dinging and coming down.  RUN!!  I was laughing hysterically and the sight we must have been....but we jumped on the train with only seconds to spare.

Finally on the train, our girl was in heaven!  She just loves train rides and insists that she's on Thomas, every time.  This is when the hustlin' was worth it.  Seeing her little face light up while watching the world go by.

After a short ride, we got off to go for ice cream, with plans to catch it on its way back through in like a half hour.  So we walked down to the Dairy Queen and then found a shady, grassy spot to hang out.  We were feeling pretty good about ourselves at this point!  (and Kinley was obviously enjoying herself!)

We had about 15 minutes left before our train was due, so we started walking back towards the pick up area.  On our way, we found some fountains for her to play in.  She succeeded in getting completely soaked but was having too much fun to tell her no.

We got back to the train platform with only minutes to spare and were ready to board the train.  Only seconds before it got to us, we realized that we were waiting on the wrong track.  Those of  you familiar with the Metra system, know what I'm talking about.  We were on the north track and we needed to be on the south track.  So, not being able to hop the tracks (for fear of safety) we had no choice but to stand there and watch our train go by.

And wait two hours for the next one.

Kinley was hysterical!  "My choo-choo left me!"  My heart broke for her.  We were standing close enough to touch it--and even asked the train worker to open our side of the door.  He just threw his hands up (and I wanted to throw him the bird). At first, Richie and I were furious...at the train, at each other, at ourselves.  How dumb could we be!?  Of course it wouldn't be on the North track!  Grrrr.  So now what?!  We're "stranded" for two hours!

Then we realized, this wasn't really the crisis that we were making it out to be.

We knew that our first order of business as stranded travelers was to find the toddler a potty.  So we walked back to the downtown area and found several little restaurants with tables set up outside.  Let's do dinner!  Eating outside is the ideal situation with a two-year-old.  She can make noise and move around and no one really notices.  On our walk to the Mexican restaurant, we saw a kids shoe store that had a cat inside....like a store pet.  That seems to be really common up here.  Kinley loves cats.  She was glued to this storefront for a long while.  And it was nice to not be in a hurry.

We ate a nice dinner, she went potty, we visited the cat again and then walked around to enjoy their downtown.  And what a beautiful downtown it was!  Dare I say that I liked it more than our downtown?  So many ice cream shops (should have visited one of those to start instead of the DQ!) and stores.  We played at the fountains again and just really enjoyed our family time.

It turns out that our crisis of being "stranded" turned into such a great evening!  I honestly wish we would have planned the longer stay to begin with.

Twenty minutes before our train was due, we started back towards the platform--again.  And this time, we went to the south track.

We sure felt the wind knocked out of our sails when we had to stand and watch our train go by without us on it.  We felt dumb and lost and just hopeless.  How would we get home?  What are we going to do?  How could we be so stupid?  And all that it took was looking at it from another angle, with a better attitude, to know that we really weren't so bad off after all, we actually had an ideal family evening handed to us, on a silver platter.  Which is just what we needed.

Makes me realize that a lot of things in life are really based on how you are looking at them and with what attitude you're using when dealing with a situation.

So, we missed a train, big deal.  We're new at this!  We've not done this before....but you can bet that on our next ice cream escapade, we'll be much wiser!

A Quick Step-By-Step

I have been asked on numerous occasions about our budget coach and financial planning "stuff" from Dave Ramsey.  I am always more than eager to share and pass along the good info...

So with that....

Here is the Financial Peace University class that we took through our church.
1. If you need to find a class offered in your area, click here.  Just put in your zip code there on the left and off you go.  I'll cross my fingers that there is one in your area.
2. If there is no class in your area, but you still want to get on board, you can.
3. The home study course is $99.  I know it is a lot of money.  Trust me, I know.  But I can honestly say that it will be the best $99 you will ever spend.  Save a little each month if you need to...or just don't eat out all month and save up.  
1. The benefit to the home study route, obviously, you won't need to leave home or find a sitter, or whatever.
2. It is the SAME DVDs and information that you would receive by going to the class.
3. You can study at your pace, speed it up/slow it down, whatever.
4. Following the completion of our course, we didn't know where to start.  We were a tad overwhelmed with the information and the resources.  We needed someone to help us get things organized and put "in order."  That is where our budget coach, Connie, comes in.
5. We found her by using the Dave Ramsey site and going to this page.
1. On this page, you will fill out your contact information and then they will get back to you via email with names of counselors (coaches) in your area.
2. Our coach offered the first class free to assess our situation and get her opinion on our finances.  From that point, we were able to decide if this was something that we wanted to do.
3. It does cost!  We paid about $500 (?) for her services.  Now, don't freak out!  $500 is a TON, Ton of money.  We didn't pay this in one payment.  We paid $165 over three payments.  She worked in those payments where we could afford it in our budget.  So we paid it over the span of 4 or 5 months.
1. If you feel that there is just no way that $500 is something you can do...you aren't alone. I thought for sure that we could never afford her.  There was no way.  We had zero money to spend on "extras."  Let me just tell you....we did it.  And it didn't hurt.  It was amazing to know that we were able to pay for this service, in cash, and not feel the pinch.
6. My one piece of advice to you, if you are interested in taking these steps, is to really be ready.  Be ready to allow someone to TELL YOU WHAT TO DO and HOW TO DO IT!  Your coach will tell you NO more debit or credit cards.  Your coach will tell you HOW to spend your money.  Your coach will HOLD you responsible for your spending.  Your coach will EXPECT you to be serious about your finances.
1. That said, if you feel that you are not ready to be serious and really put forth an effort, don't waste your or their time.  

Remember, we made a goof, we bought a stupid car.  But we learned so much from that goof.  You are not expected to be perfect.  Just to be real.  And don't ever feel that your situation is so bad that you are embarrassed of how bad things have gotten.  There is always someone worse off.  Our coach reminds us that she once had a client with over 400K in student loans.  Yeah, I know.  So never feel embarrassed or like you can't get help.  

Missing Familiy

Someone makes herself right at home in our
bed at 4 a.m.

It's no surprise that once you have your child, your heart forever is worn on the outside.  You become this vulnerable and desperate person to make everything in their world just right. You want to do everything in your power to make them a good person.  Someone who is well rounded and happy.  Someone who knows they're loved and cared about...  you want to give them everything and more.

My daughter has become the master at making me feel like crap.  Not intentionally, I don't think.  I mean, she's two (and a half).  She surely can't master this intentionally?  And you know, now that I think about it, I think that she's just now able to make her thoughts known and it's not always what I want to hear.  Therefore, I am probably making myself feel like crap.  Anyway.

She cries for Nonie and Papa daily.

She cries to go to their house.  She cries to talk to them.  She cries to have them hold her or rock her.

They live about four hours away.

We can't just up and go whenever she feels the urge to see them--but she doesn't get that.

I know that I've blogged before about how lonely it is when you don't live near any family.  It's just getting worse.  The older she gets, the greater the distance seems.

The Fourth of July really made me sad this year.  My husband worked and I took Kage to a local family farm to ride horses, etc.  How holiday fitting....right?!  I miss holidays where family gets together and visits.  Shared moments and memories.  Kage doesn't have that.  What is she going to look back on as her fond memories?  Daddy working on holidays and her and mommy finding something to do to pass time?  I know that it's more than that, but is that how she'll remember it?

Shouldn't she grow up with memories of family at a barbecue and visiting with cousins and aunts and uncles? It's sad that she has to become re-acclimated with her own family when we do get together (at Thanksgiving and Christmas).

Sure, we could travel to be with our families on the holidays, but then who wants to spend 4-6 hours in a car for a two day trip?  Not I, said the mom of a two year old!  That would just be torture (she doesn't ride well).

My husband and I were discussing the different friends that have come and gone in our lives...I think it was prompted by a question of, "how many of your friends from your wedding party are still in your lives today?" and we were baffled.  Friends do come and go.  Not that anyone got mad or there was a fight or you don't like each other anymore....but you grow up, have families and are just busy.  Time for friends just isn't there anymore.  Or--someone moves away...far away.

We moved.

We separated ourselves.  Not from family or friends, but simply to make a better life for ourselves.

I just wish it wasn't such a huge trade-off.  And then I think of our current situation and have no choice but to ask myself if we are making a better life for ourselves.  Did we make a good trade?  Is the distance worth it?

Do any of you live far away from family?  How do you make the holidays special?

Sometimes I wonder if things will feel differently when we move into a house and have neighbors to share holidays with....it surely won't be the same as having our family close but it may feel less lonely.