The dog is on to something...

Have you ever noticed that pets lay it all on the line?  I mean, with feelings and emotions.  There is no question.  You know what they're feeling because they show it, without thinking it's wrong.  Because really, it's not wrong to feel.  It's completely normal (here I go with that "normal" word again, for whatever it means) to feel and to show feelings.  But for some stupid reason, we've been trained to hide them.

Yesterday, Lucy cried/whined all day.  She wandered our new apartment and whined.  She sat at the door and cried.  She looked out the window and cried.  She just whined and cried all.day.long.  While my first instinct was to get mad, I now have realized that she's showing what I'm feeling.  I yelled at her, put her in her crate, told her to stop but she wouldn't.  She just kept up the whining and crying.

She wanted to go home.

Kinley has been uneasy in our new "home" as well.  It's an adjustment for all of us.

And while I know that I'm thrilled that we're out of the townhouse....this move is just another transition that we're having to deal with.  And transition is not easy.  Not on a dog, not on a baby and not on a family.

This place is homey.  My friend, often referred to as "bestie", helped us move and she agreed that this place is much homier than our last place.  She thinks we'll be really happy here.  I believe her.  I'm just having a hard time getting to that point.  I'm still in the shock phase, I think.

I look around and see our stuff scattered about and the organization is non-existent.  I'm very Type A and need organization.  So right now, I'm on high alert and so easily irritated.  Which in turn is not making this transition any easier. 

The biggest problem is that we went from 1700 sq. ft. to 1000 sq. ft.  Reminds of "fat guy in a little coat"....you know what I'm talking about. 

It's nearly impossible to make it not cluttered!

So I'm working hard to make it work.  I'm really trying.  My bestie was trying to help me make sense of this cluttered mess and she suggested putting one of our bookcases next to this curio (that I really dislike but feel obligated to have because my grandma gave it to me).  Well, I immediately said no, they can't sit next to each other because the woods don't match.  (Ummmm, yeah, I'm like that)  She reminded me that I'm living with what will work, not with perfection.  She's right.  We're not here to win a spread in Better Homes and Gardens magazine.  They aren't going to come knocking at my apartment door wanting to do a photo shoot of my nicely wood matched furniture and beautiful furniture (that was purchased for comfort, not beauty).  Joy, GET OVER IT.

So I swallowed my pride and kicked myself in the butt (not literally, although that would be funny to watch me trying) and agreed that this next year is about survival.  I'm living in a simpler way and trying to simplify.  Yeah.  Don't sweat the small stuff.  Don't waste my precious time and energy worrying about a bookcase not matching a curio.  Seriously. Worry about time for school or time for my family or time for myself. 

It's been tough, I'm not going to lie.  But I'm determined to not let this move get the best of me.  I'm tackling one box at a time.  One room at a time.  It will get done.  And it may not be today or tomorrow...but it will get done. 

We did make it to Church ABC this morning and again, it reaffirmed my decision that we've found the most amazing church community.  Seeing those five guys show up yesterday at our doorstep to sweep in and make our move the most effortless....it was God at work.  I don't know if I've completely wrapped my mind around it quite yet.  But I do know that I've never met a more generous and loving community.  I feel blessed. 

Read the writing on the wall

I got this from LAH at Diving Into Love. 

 

So all you have to do it get out a piece of paper and answer these questions:

1. What's your name / blogger name?

2. What's your blog's URL?

3. Write "The quick fox jumps over the lazy dog."

4. Favorite quote?

5. Your favorite song?

6. Your favorite band / singers?

7. Anything else you want to say?

8. Tag 3 - 5 other people.

 

 

Note Worthy

If you aren't a reader of this blog, you should be.  But more importantly is this blog that she wrote.  Totally one of those that I want to stash in my mind's file cabinet for when Kinley is a little older. 

I sprung a leak

My intentions were to nurse for three months.  Then I said, okay, I survived that, so let's go to six months.  The six became nine, the nine twelve and here I sit looking at fifteen. 

I still had no real plan at weaning.  Even though I said that I would stop *no later* than 15 months (knowing that if she wanted to nurse till 24 months, I would do it).  That being said, I don't want you to think that our breastfeeding days are of her on the boob all day long.  From about twelve months on, it's been 2-3 times a day.  Occasionally a day would come that she'd nurse 4-5 but I've been an on demand nurser.  She gets it when she wants it.  Let's be honest.  She gets anything she wants, when she wants it.  She's my boss.

That being said, she's not asked to nurse since 6:00 last night.  I'm going on 24 hours of no nursing.  Today, my boobs have been about to burst.  I didn't put in nursing pads because, well, I haven't used them since she was a few months old.  I just didn't think about it.  (I don't even know where they are, to be honest.)  I had to leave class a little early today to pick her up from day care (since daddy couldn't and it's his normal day to do so) and on my way to get her my boobs hurt more and more and more.  Ugh.  I finally get to her and the minute I see her, my bra gets warm and wet and sooo gross.  Ugh.  I'm leaking.  So I sit and converse with the daycare lady for 15 minutes or so about Kinley's day and weaning and engorgement, etc and my bra just gets wetter and wetter.  So gross.

So now I'm home and Kinley still hasn't asked to nurse.  I know that if I offer it to her, she'll nurse.  But I'm kind of thinking that she's self-weaning.  And if I ask her to nurse, or remind her, that it'll be a step backwards in the direction we should be going.  Does that make sense?  I don't know what to do.

Part of me says to stick in a bra pad and just go with it.  But what if tomorrow she decides she wants to nurse and I've already started to dry up!?  Oh the stress.

Kinley has a new BFF.  My sister told us about these spill-proof snack cups, and I' had seen them before but forgotten about them.  Kinley loves to sit down and share her snack with Lucy, so I always give her some crackers in a bowl and let them share.  Not any more!  We got these nifty snack bowls at Tar-ghet (that French store around the corner) and Kinley is in love.  She carries one everywhere she goes.  And we've found that she loves Trix.  Yeah, that sugary cereal that has zero nutritional value.  Whatever, she likes it and she is the boss.  Remember?  So yeah, Kinley highly recommends the bowls.  Lucy, not so much.

Tonight we are going to our Dave Ramsey class.  We missed the last two.  Two weeks ago, we were all under the weather sick as all get out.  Then last week I was drowning in homework and couldn't take the two hour break to go to the class.  Ever feel like you've just totally disappointed someone and just feel terrible for it?  That's how I'm feeling lately about Church ABC.  We've totally dropped the ball.  We've not been to church in two weeks and all functions that we've signed up for have been lost in the mix too.  I feel SO BAD.  Not only have we "skipped" class with the Dave Ramsey thing but I also volunteered for this tutoring thing through the church and completely forgot that the training started two weeks ago and I've missed two sessions.  Total no call-no show.  Such a fail.  Ugh.  The stress.

I need to learn how to say no.  I have myself so swamped in life that I'm suffocating myself.  That's not good.  I need to realize that school and family are enough.  I don't need to try and be Super Woman and sign up for all of this extra stuff.  That time will come.  But it's not today.  So I have to email the tutoring coordinator and explain why I'm such a loser and blew off the two sessions.  And tonight I'll hopefully redeem myself with the Dave Ramsey class instructor. 

Splish, Splash

As if I weren't excited enough about moving, and saving $300 per month on rent, I became even more overjoyed this evening when I got the email notices of my auto-delivery utility bills.  Our gas bill in this place this month is $185.  And our electric....$205.  Absolutely ridiculous.  This place is SO energy UN-efficient, it makes me sick.  I can't wait to get out of here. 
We were quoted that the utilities in the new place run between $100-$125 a month TOTAL.  Talk about a savings!  Sign me up!  Oh wait, I already did sign up.

Today after school, I picked up Kinley at daycare and she was sleeping under the coffee table.  It was the cutest thing!  She never passes out like that at home so it just melted my heart to see that she played till she passed out.  Love that girl!

We went to the grocery store afterwards and I decided to splurge on a 6-pack of Corona.  While we normally don't drink beer or keep it in the house, I was just wanting a cold beer tonight.  So I grabbed the 6 pack and the lime and the other things on the list and headed to the check out.  And, I was carded.  Made me so happy. 

And then, I came home, unloaded the groceries, nursed Kinley, and started dinner.  Had all of the ingredients put it and ready when it was time to add the one cup of sour cream, which I had just purchased, and when I casually ripped off the lid (expecting that plastic seal on the inside) sour cream when splashing EVERYWHERE.  It wasn't actually sour cream.  More like sour milk.  And it went everywhere.  I wanted to scream.  It was in every crevice, every cabinet, drawer.  Ugh.  So up went the baby gate and down on the floor I went to clean the sour mess.  I managed to call the husband on his way home from work to pick up another container.  As I was cleaning the mess, I kept reminding myself that I only had a few more days in this place.  I really dislike it here.  Can you tell?

So, I guess that's all that is on my mind.  I have a board game to create for my Social Studies methods class.  I'm kind of excited to make it.  Okay, so I'm super excited to make it.  This is totally my kind of thing.  It's due on the 10th so I had better get a move on.

Kinley, where did your ponytail go?

And why not another music video from one of my latest favorites?  This song is so awesome.  Love, love, love it.

Remember Me?

Remember me?  I didn't dare look to see when my last non-meme post was....it's been way too long.  But this morning, after being woke up at 3 by Kinley, who appeared to be having a nightmare, and getting ready for school an hour early, I chose to skip ironing my hair and throw in back into a wet ponytail.  We aren't with students today, thanks to the good old' Presidents Day (observed today, for some reason).  So no students=relaxed wardrobe.  So here I am, back at the old blog.  It's been way too long.

I looked at my schedule for this summer and I'm only going to be taking one class, on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons.  I can't wait until May 5 when this semester ends and I can have my blog life back.  I'm really busting my bucket to keep on top of things and not fall behind.  I want to succeed and do well this semester and if I don't, it won't be from lack of trying. 

I'd like to have all of these exciting and fun things to tell you that have been going on, but that's not the case.  We enjoyed a wonderful visit from my family this past weekend.  Mom, my sister and I took Kinley for her first real shoe shopping experience and I think she enjoyed it.  She was strutting around the store and acted like she owned the place (and she could have because she had free reign with Nonie's credit card).  We settled on a super cute pair of gym shoes that I think will match most everything.  She is a walking machine, never really crawls anymore, but when I put shoes on her, she walked with a stumble.  So I knew that we had to get shoes on her feet so that she'd get better at walking in shoes.

The shoes make her look so big, and it breaks my heart to see how fast she is growing up.  The first year does go fast, but not nearly as fast as it's going from one year forward.  She learns something new every single day.  I love her more than anything in this world and I am SO PROUD to be her mommy.

We're all set for our big move on Saturday.  I lied.  We're sooo not ready.  Not even packed, really.  We My husband has taken several loads to the storage unit, so we have been moving stuff out slowly...but there is so much left to do.  And my husband is stressing it, big time.  I'm sure that we'll get the job done, but it may kill the both of us to do so.  The church offered to help us move, but with life happening, we've had to miss the last three weeks of church and the last two Dave Ramsey classes, so I'm not so sure that the church hasn't given up on us.  I feel like such a huge FAIL.

My project minimize has taken a slow stop.  I've been swamped with homework and haven't been listing stuff to sell.  We I did do our taxes and it looks like with that we can now say that we're debt free, aside from our mortgage.  That feels amazing.  Ah-mazing.  AH-MAZING.  Oh, and aside from my student loans.  Which those alone make me want to crawl in a corner and cry.  But the little stuff, that nickel and dimes you to death, are GONE.  (or will be when that refund comes in)

We also knocked out our first baby step in our Dave Ramsey plan.  Now on to step 2.  What was it again?  I'll have to look.

I haven't been able to see Dr. Laura because of my family being in town, and I can't see her next weekend either, because of the move.  So it's THE NEXT weekend that we'll meet again and I could so use a session right now.  I'm trying to be strong and just hold tight till then.  I know I'll make it.

And on that note, Kinley is up (again) but that's okay, we have to get ready to leave for daycare/school in a half hour.  It was good to touch base again.  I feel reconnected.  Hopefully I won't stay gone so long next time.

Weekend Warriors

My Weekend Warrior list:

• Welcome a long over-due family visit!  My mom, step-dad, sister and nephew are coming to visit us from Saturday afternoon through Monday morning.
• Must get my house in order prior to their arrival.
• Today, I'm being a "bad mom" and sending Kinley to day care for three hours while I work on some homework.
• My homework list is slowly dwindling and I'm actually close to feeling caught up!  Or at least to a manageable level.
• We're hoping to take a few more loads of boxes to our storage unit to ease our move next weekend.
• I'm sure this weekend will be filled with lots of eating out and shopping and visiting!